𝐃𝐔𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐓𝐘 ── bellamy blake ¹ ✓

[ 13 ] an eye for an eye

1.13 | AN EYE FOR AN EYE

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YOU KNOW WHAT they say about the quiet before the storm, right? One moment, you feel peaceful and unbothered. Like you have no reason to fear for your life. As though your brain is fooling you into thinking that it's alright, you're safe and that it's going to be fine. But in reality, the world is simply waiting for the right moment to crumble beneath your feet and crash completely, leaving you alone to look over your shoulder in a frantic manner every few seconds, constantly searching for any threat or sign that you are in danger. Leaving you with your panicked thoughts that ache to break out of their cage, just to create complete and utter havoc in your mind.

This is how I feel the entire time. It has been dreadfully silent for the past two days while the camp recovers from the sickness, which further makes it worse; I can almost fool myself into thinking that we are, in fact, alone, and under no threat. The camp is in a constant state of fear and misery, having me repeatedly glance over my shoulder and not let my rifle out of my sight, going as far as sleeping with it tightly clutched in my hands. That is, if I could actually sleep. Apparently, I radiate so much anxiety, the Grounders would smell the fear and immediately attack. Atleast that's what Bellamy told me earlier, before giving me a wide, reassuring grin and letting me off my shift earlier, telling me to get some rest — I'll be fine and he'll make sure of it.

But even drawing with Aiden, who has become a great friend of mine and casts off only positive vibes, masking his own worry with jokes, isn't enough to bring me peace.

''Your hands are shaking,'' the boy points out.

I glance up from the sheet of paper to the hand that is gripping a piece of charcoal, ''Yeah. I can't help it.''

''Because of the Grounders?'' He wonders, his tone soft and eyes cautiously watching me through his eyelashes.

My eyelids fall shut in defeat. I exhale shakily, ''Yes. I just can't take my mind off of it. It feels like... Like I'm drowning. Or there's just not enough air to breathe.''

''Yeah, I used to get these moments, too,'' Aiden confesses, causing me to tilt my head curiously, ''Mostly when I was locked up. I would freak out sometimes. At first, it was hard to control it. I was alone, no one would help me. But as time passed by, I learned how to handle it. Now, on the ground, I'm just used to the constant state of worry, I guess.''

''Wow,'' I breathe, ''That sounds terrible. I'm sorry you were alone for most of it."

''It was," he sighs and shifts closer to me, taking my hand in his calloused one, "but don't worry. The Ark tried to get rid of us, what makes you think the Grounders can?"

I manage a weak smile in return, "Thank y—"

''Fire!''

Aiden and I freeze, exchanging wide-eyes looks, before throwing our drawings aside and bolting in the direction of the, now, chorus of distressed yells.