𝐃𝐔𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐓𝐘 ── bellamy blake ¹ ✓

[ 05 ] rough landing

2.5. | ROUGH LANDING

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WITH EACH MOMENT that slowly drifts by, I feel myself growing more and more exhausted, both physically and emotionally. The whole walk back from the bunker is spent in silence and the tension is palpable. The quiet, however, is not as nice of a factor for me as it usually tends to be, as the time we spend without talking means that there are many thoughts to be focused on that should probably be expressed instead, rather than stay trapped in my mind, filling my head until it becomes unbearable, to the hair-tearing point of ohmygodmakeitstop.

What do I think of? Well, first of all, it's more like what do I not think of, for that would probably be easier to explain. From thinking about whether or not we should tell Clarke about Finn losing his shit when we find her, to wondering if I'll ever get to tell her anything at all, my brain really works in overdrive.

Speaking of thoughts, is there a diagnosis for overthinking?

I am just about to get to the end of the second round of 'ohmygod I miss Aiden and all my friends', when Murphy accidentally releases a twig that almost pokes my whole eyeball out and Bellamy warns us all quietly, making me finally move my gaze up from the ground, ''Everyone, eyes peeled, we're in Grounder territory.''

''Yeah, well, if someone doesn't think of where they're going, soon I won't have any eyes to fucking peel,'' I mumble bitterly, this time catching yet another twig that swings dangerously close to my face.

Murphy, turns out, isn't as much of an idiot as I assume he is and instantly realizes my jab is aimed at him, craning his neck just enough to be able to side-eye me, retorting, ''Would you just leave me alone? It's not like I'm doing it on purpose.''

''Oh, believe me when I say I'd love to switch positions and let a whole trunk squash you—"

''Stop bickering! There could be Grounders here! Pay attention,'' Bellamy interrupts, irritated. Finally, we make it out of the extremely dangerous terrain, also known as dark bushes of bugs and other unknown irradiated creatures, and the sun rays finally brush my face.

''Yes, because everything is Grounder territory,'' he rolls his eyes, ''Look, I can't keep running. We don't even know if the guy Finn killed was telling the truth.''

The boy in question turns around and swiftly covers the few feet worth of distance between them to get to Murphy, pulling him along harshly, ''Keep moving!''

''We can give him a minute,'' Bellamy states, breathing heavily. He, too, looks exhausted.

I nod in agreement, finally drawing my aching hand back from my sling, resting it on my knee instead, ''I think we can all give ourselves a minute.''

When Monroe questions me about my well being and I have given her an affirmative answer, Finn glares at me like I've just stolen the sun and the stars out of the sky, ''No, we can't. You heard what that Grounder said. They'll outlive their usefulness."