Mafia's Silence

14: Monster

I was befuddled, I did not know what to do, who to choose. Heart or Mind? According to Dean, confessing about the name was a shot worth for my freedom. But was it really? Because as far as I could guess, he held me captive before he got to know about the name thing, so he was keeping me for something else. Then why would he show some mercy in return of the favor that I could give?

'he can give me anything but freedom," I thought.

Pacing around the room, biting my nails, frowning deeply, with mind running faster than ever but with no apparent answers or clue, I felt utterly useless. A part of me wanted to open up to Romeo so that he could show some mercy and let me go, the other part of me knew he wouldn't let me go so it did not want to give him the name.

I was stuck between a glimmer of hope and a dark abyss of hopelessness, I did not want to fall down to the dark hole of hopelessness with no return, but I did not also want to keep following the glimmers only to find that there was nothing there but a trap. That house in which I was held captive was doing me no good, and to some extent no harm too.

'What is his intention for keeping me here,' I thought.

'Maybe he wants me to be used to of this place,' I also thought.

'But why? He doesn't seem attracted to me in a disgusting way, because I have faced that obsession too...then what could be so damn important that he would be willing to give the world to a stranger at a cost of her freedom.' I kept asking myself different questions, all lead me to nothing. Silence.

There was silence in my mind in return of my own queries. He left me so empty, I never felt that kind of emptiness in my life ever. What was he doing to me without even doing anything? The thought trembled me.

Huffing, I walked up to my door, twirled the handle of the door with mind full of possibilities of what could be the reaction of my action, but somehow, there was enough courage to walk out of the room and march towards the forbidden floor, where he used to be. I could hear some people calling me out from behind, but Jon or Dean was there to shut them up. I did not turn around, I did not want to change my mind then. I only wanted something instead of nothing. If a name could make Beast speak up and break his silence, I was willing to name the monster.

With each step firmer than previous one, I walked upstairs, the floor seemed almost empty. No luxury was there, plain empty walls, plain dark doors, dimmed gold lights, nothing special. Except the large painting of a lily decorating the wall beside his room.

It was his room, I knew it. The first room on the corridor, I once heard Jon instructing a servant to leave out the dinner in front of that room.

I wandered my eyes around, my palms were sweating, there was some little beads of sweat over my forehead too. I wiped it off with my sleeve, I did not want to look intimidated. I blinked my eyes twice, licked my lips, pull my chin up a little, tried my best to gain my composure and then raised my hand to knock on the door.

My knock had only one answer. Silence.

That empty place was haunting me, it smelled good, it looked fine, it seemed normal. But it felt devastating to me. I could faint. My anxiety was getting the best of me. I knocked harder, in hopes of some response from him for once.

I knocked again and again. Silence was the only thing that was granted to me.

"Romeo, open the door." I mumbled, I knew my voice wouldn't have reached him. It was a whisper out of desperation.

"Romeo!" That time, it was a louder voice. He must have felt disrespected. But still no answer.

"Gosh, I am here to tell you the name." I tried to bait him.