The Final Cut

Chapter 13

I went to sleep that night feeling all,Like, confident and shit. I don't know why but being held and kissed like that made me feel loved and wanted. Something I haven't felt since I was 6. Yes I said six. When I was 6 years old my mother got really sick and had to ho to the hospital. They said it was food poisoning and that she would be back in a couple of weeks.

Hahahaha... nope. When I was 6 and a half, it was breast cancer. When I was 7, They diagnosed her with something called droopy brain. It's something where your brain is literally hanging out off the bottom of your scalp in the inside of her head.

I decided to write in my Journal that was by the side of my bed.

April 19th.

so, today it happened again. and it felt even better than last time, if that's even possible. I dont think it is! It must be. I dont know. All I know is that every time he kisses me part of me... regrets it and part of me wants more. I can't believe it has even gone this far! I never thought I'd even kiss him. but here we are laying on the floor full-on making out. ugh I don't know why he does this. anyways, My hand hurts soooooo I'm gonna go. write you tomorrow! ~D

That's what I wrote. I slowly laid down and fell asleep next to my life size teddy bear who I had named Josiah Alexander Oaks. Just because Josiah is my favorite guy name, Alexander is Jacobs middle name and Oaks is-

Shut up. okay, so I woke up the next day around 10:30am. I walked downstairs to find Eric laying on top of Nikki on the couch making out. I sighed loudly. "Well. I'm not a big believer in PDA so..." I stopped as I saw them pull apart. Eric looked at me and smirked "Well, you're one to talk huh?" I gasped and slapped his arm. "Shut up!" I pouted. Nikki laughed and stood up as she walked to the kitchen. I sat on the other side of the couch and hugged the cushion close to my chest. I heard him chuckle. "C'mon. spill the beans" He said looking at me. I looked back at him with a confused look on my face. "You know, start with the part of why you were snogging Jacob on the floor of the living room, maybe?" he said now a bit more serious.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I muttered. my lies brushing against the cushion. He got closer to me. "Bull shit!" He whisper yelled making me flinch at his tone. "I am your brother and you will tell me what's going on between you and Jacob!" He said a bit more whispery. I shook my head lightly "But there's nothing going on." I said calmly. He sighed in frustration. "If you don't tell me Jacob will." he said all sassy like. I nodded.

"Well fine. Let Jacob confirm that there's nothing going on." I said and then smiled. He rolled his eyes and stopped at me. He looked down at my exposed wrists and I tried to hide them, but it was too late. His eyes widened and began to fill with tears. his lips parted and I looked down at my crossed legs. he lifted up my chin and looked at my eyes. Only one word came out of his mouth. "Why?" he said shaking his head like he didn't understand, and that's just exactly why I wouldn't tell anyone, they wouldn't understand. his lips parted again when I didn't answer. "You always seem so... happy." I chuckled coldly looking down.

"Yeah. 'seem' is the key word." I said looking down. A tear fell from his eyes and tears began to form in mine. "Please don't cry." I pleaded him, whispering and wiped away his tears. His head fell to his hands and I hugged him. "Its okay, just please don't cry." He shook his head. "promise me you won't do it anymore." I couldn't say anything. His head rose up and his bright blue eyes looked in my green eyes. "please?" he pleaded once more. I nodded quickly and he pulled me to his embrace. I buried my head in his shoulder quietly sobbing. A few minutes later I stopped and he let go. then Nikki came in and I left up to wash my face and stuff. After I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and washed my face I changed and went to my room and just sat there on the window seat looking down.

I heard a knock on my door about 15 minutes later. I didn't respond so the person just came in. I was seated with my back towards the door, so I didn't know who it was until I heard Jacobs voice. ugh *face palm*

"Uh. are you okay?" he asked calmly sitting beside me. Like, who the fuck told you to sit down. Or even come in for that matter. Sorry, I feel hormonal. "Yeah. I guess." I said sighing. I hugged my stomach around my phone waist. feeling cramps. Ugh fucking mother nature.

"Cramps?" He asked. seeing me hug my stomach. I nodded. You may think that's a bit odd, for me to be so comfortable around him. "Do you want some skittles?" Yes! "You know me so well." I responded and he laughed and shrugged "Well. you know. I am your best friend, so." I laughed. "shut up and go get my skittles" I said child like. he laughed and left. When he came back he had 2 packs of skittles. I emptied them out on my bed when we moved to sit there. I took all the green and purple. he took the yellow and reds. When we finally got done I layed on the bed feeling a bit better. "better?" he asked. "Mhm. thank you." I said and looking up at him because I was laying on his lap. He nodded. "I missed this." I said. Hr looked s bit confused. "what do you mean?"

"I missed hanging out with you without all of the sexual tension and stuff." I explained. His expression changed from confused to proud and smug. "there was sexual tension?" he smirked. " Ugh shut up." I smiled and he laughed. We planned on going somewhere today. We didn't know where yet though.

sorry. my brain is poo. I just got back yesterday and I was like SOOOOO TIRED OMG. but yeah. hope you enjoyed. X

STAY FAB

~KIM