SPECTRAL

Chapter 4

 Noah really did hate everything. It had been a month of taking his medication. Apparently, his friends weren't real. His parents had sat Noah down and explained that they were just hallucinations, figments of his imagination. They weren't there, they never were. The medicine was supposed to help. It did not help. If anything, it just made everything worse.

The medicine did nothing to stop him from seeing his friends. That was clear, especially with the constant pestering from Joey and the sad look Mildred shared with Claire and Josh. No, the medicine didn't do anything to stop them or the other figures he would see around. All it did was make Noah dizzy and exhausted. He wasn't sure if that was a normal side effect from taking the medicine.

He didn't know what to think anymore. He had no friends. The ones he thought were real turned out to be as fake as his old friends. He didn't know what to believe anymore. How is he supposed to know if he was talking to a hallucination or a real person? How is he supposed to know if he is experiencing things like a normal person should? Are all hallucinations transparent?

Noah stumbled down the stairs, his head spinning. As he made his way into the kitchen he banged into a wall and a nauseous feeling welled up inside of him. He had enough. If his medication was making him feel like crap, why would he keep taking it? No, he would pretend to. He didn't care about seeing things, he didn't care about his supposed schizophrenia. He just wanted to feel healthy again. Was that really too much to ask?

His parents glanced at him with worry as he picked at his breakfast. The sick feeling in his stomach increased until he could feel vomit stinging his throat. Rushing toward the bathroom he threw up, the acidic taste burning his throat. His face was flushed as he turned on the sink and splashed water onto his face. When he looked up in the mirror Noah did not see himself, but the shell of the boy he once was. How come his parents didn't say anything about this? Did they really not care?

An annoyed groan left his lips as he turned to the pill bottle. Angrily, Noah opened the bottle and snatched out one of the dreaded things and threw it in the trash.

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It had been months since Noah had stopped taking the pills, months since he was diagnosed with the disorder he didn't believe he had. He felt great, no longer having terrible dizzy spells and vomiting more than humanly possible. He could stay awake without feeling exhausted for hours longer than he would on the medication. But Noah was still angry.

Why would his parents make him take a pill that ruined his health? Why would they rip away his only friends by telling him they do not exist? Why did they have to ruin his life? Noah would never forgive them. He couldn't.

Noah wanted to believe his friends were real, he really did. But even though he knew he didn't have schizophrenia, he knew no one else could see them. So what really was wrong with him? At times like these, Charley seemed to be the only one that Noah could turn to and rant about his problems.

Although he would never admit it to anyone, Noah had shed more tears in the past months than he had in his entire life. It was hard. He would cry when he heard his parents arguing over him, he would cry when Joey would stand in front of him and cry out for him, he would cry when Charley would glance in the direction of his friends that only he could see, and he would cry when his parents would get refills for his medication. Oh God was he weak. No, he was pathetic.

Noah had gone to the library a lot in the past week, borrowing books on schizophrenia. It just never added up. He didn't have all of those symptoms. He knew he didn't, so why did everyone else think he did?

Once, he ended up looking in the paranormal section and reading about ghosts. He didn't believe in ghosts, but there was a small prick in his heart as he read them. Maybe deep down he did. Maybe deep within his mind, he had his suspicions on what he saw. He just didn't want to believe it. It was not possible, it never was.