FLAMES ➳ myg ✓

다섯

FIVE
cold

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I COULDN'T SLEEP, I couldn't do anything for myself anymore. With a thick, woven blanket wrapped around my small figure, I rested my head against the armrest of the couch. I gazed lifelessly at the screen, not caring for what sitcom played on the television screen. There was not a single trace of light in the house, the darkness pulling me in its embrace. The television flashed a minimal amount of light, illuminating my face. It was 3:25 am and she has yet to return. My grip on the blanket tightened as the television screen reflected my tear stained cheeks.

I felt emptied - every single inch of my heart drained. My head throbbed with every aching moment. My shoulders grew heavier and heavier each day. My body seemed to grow smaller as my cheeks became hollow. The bags underneath my eyes grew deeper, swelling my eyes. I was slowly suffocating myself.

I couldn't think properly anymore, my mind clouded with thoughts of her. I wondered if she was happy, if she found joy out of being able to do whatever she wanted with whomever she pleased. I wondered what guy she was with this time. I wondered if it felt good, dancing with random strangers, blinded by alcohol and ear-piercing music.

It pained me to know that someone else's hands were on her waist, that she locked lips with someone else and the sweet taste of her lips that I once tasted was tainted. It made my heart twist in agony every time she returned with fresh hickeys, the bruises painting her neck like a canvas. The smell of hard liquor wreaked from her delicate figure. It hurt me to know that her body was intertwined with someone else's.

I hated the feeling she casted upon me every day. She makes me suffer with every breath I take. I was wrapped around her pretty little finger, forever under her trance and unable break loose. She wasted all the love I gave her. The feeling I got from loving her that was once blissful started to feel like torture. I felt like shit every time I fought battles between my heart and my mind.

Because no matter how cold she was, my heart couldn't stop loving her.

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I feel like I'm repeating myself in every chapter? Is that just me?

this chapter is kinda short but clean and cuts to the point of things. I'm honestly scared to write the next chapter. It's gonna be a big moment.

much love

~emily