Wednesday evening...
We returned from the Eiffel Tower and ate dinner, sitting around awkwardly as though we had been traumatised by something today.
In a way, we had. The thought of the heights today still flipped my stomach and the thought of Tom and I on the very top sends butterflies tumbling through the flips.
We hadn't spoken of that since it happened. We moved apart, looked at each other for a few seconds, then returned to the group. I wondered if it had actually happened or if I had flown away into a dreamland to escape the horror of the heights problem.
We were sat in Jay and Max's room, sipping cheep wine and eating snacks from the local supermarket. Jay had suggested a game of 'never have I ever' and so, here we are, china room mugs in hand, taking a drink for whenever the statement wasn't true for us as individuals.
“My turn... never have I ever... cheated on a test or exam.” Sally said, her mug remaining in her lap. As did mine and the rest of the girls'. Siva smirked and sipped, much to Ana's surprise.
“What!?” She said, raising her eyebrows. Siva raised his free hand in defence and looked across at Tom who was sipping his drink too.
“Oops?” He said.
They both laughed, not wanting to give any details.
“Your turn.” Sally said to Siva.
He scratched his chin, placing one long leg onto the other knee, sitting in a real man pose.
“Never have I ever.... laughed so hard that I peed myself.” He said.
My mug remained in place. Nikki groaned and took a sip. Everyone was amused.
“It was when I was younger!” She said, turning red.
It was Nikki's turn.
“Never have I ever.... burped on someone you were kissing at the time.” She said.
I laughed loudly, expecting no one to take a drink.
Max sighed and took a gulp.
“It was my first drunk kiss, okay?” He grumbled over the laughter.
“Never have I ever been attracted to someone in this room.” He said, returning his mug to his lap.
I sighed. Wonderful.
I took a sip, as did Ana and Siva, obviously.
Then, Nathan. Then Val. Then Sally. Then Jasmine. Then Kumar.
Then Tom.
Our eyes met and he smirked before turning away.
“I guess we all lost.” He said, filling the silence.
I gulped and scratched my head, finishing the rest of my drink with a shudder at it's bitterness.
“It's late.” I said, picking up my bag and glancing at Ana.
We still hadn't spoken since earlier.
She sighed and stretched out her back, yawning. “Time for bed.” She said, getting ready to stand. Siva put his arms around her, her tiny frame allowing his hands to touch his elbows easily.
“Don't go! Sleep in my room. Tom won't mind.” He grumbled.
Tom shrugged and held up his earphones, smirking. Ana slapped Siva's left forearm and looked offended. I smiled to myself.
“Goodnight.” She said, walking away.
“Excuse me.” Siva called. She turned back. He tapped his lips silently.
Ana smirked, her annoyance melting away as she pecked his lips gently. “Goodnight, darlin'.” Siva said. I mumbled a quick goodbye to everyone but pointed it in Tom's direction. He nodded at me, saying nothing in reply.
In our room, Ana said nothing to me, going into the bathroom to get ready for bed and then returning to the room, getting into bed and turning on the lamp, fumbling in the side table for her book.
“Ana....” I said. She sighed and looked at me, opening the book and removing her bookmark.
“I hate it when we're like this.” I said.
“You were really shitty to me today.” She said, her voice quiet.
“I know... and I'm sorry about that. I just...” I bit my cheek and sat on the edge of my bed, looking down at my converse and trying to think of something to say.
“I know. I know Tom is hard work but he's a good guy. I know him better than anyone, please... please don't question me when I say that. He's my best friend, I know everything about him... it just upsets me that you wouldn't believe that.” She said, flicking the pages of her book with her nail and not looking at me.
“I know... I know...-” She stopped me with a sigh.
“He tells me a lot... he speaks to me as though I'm his sister. I'm the one person he can trust and-” This time, I stopped her, I couldn't hold it in any longer.
“I found some pills in his jacket last night.” I said.
Ana frowned.
“What... what sort of pills?” She asked, looking concerned.
“They're pills to treat depression.” I said, slowly.
Ana blinked, her mind processing the information.
“No... they must be his brother's prescription or something. I know Lewis has been having a tough time lately. Tom is depressed, that's insane. He's...” Her voice trailed off and her face showed that her mind was elsewhere.
“They were prescribed to him. The bottle had his name on.” I said.
Ana shook her head then slowly began to cry.
“Oh... gosh... I'm sorry... I....” I hopped up and rushed over to her, grabbing tissues from the table as I did.
“I.... I don't even know my best friend.” She said, slowly, disgusted with herself.
I didn't say anything, not quite knowing what to say.
“I'm sorry I was a bitch.” She said, wiping her eyes.
I nodded.
“Me too.” I replied.
“Look, don't beat yourself up. I don't think Tom quite knows himself either.” I said.
------------------------------------------------------
Another short-ish chapter. I'm sorry, Ana.
BUT - It's my birthday. Aw.
