Crash Into You

"The" Look and Homecoming

My hysterics subside as he clamps his hand into my mouth. I bite it. He yelps as he retracts his arm and shakes it wildly. I bite my lip nervous, and afraid. Why is he here? Does he want a lawsuit? God knows I can't afford a lawsuit. I shake my head violently trying to clear this moment from my brain, he is just a feared hallucination. When I stop I look up into the eyes of a man who's trying not to smile. I give a look, "the" look, and he immediately drops all signs of a smile.

"Why are you here?" I repeat coldly.

"I want to apologize! It's my first day here in America, and I screwed up.." I cut him off.

"Ya think!" I shout. Bitter sarcasm laces my tone. I pinch the bridge of my nose in anger and frustration. He looks sorry and hurt, but I am actually sleepily sorry and hurt myself.

It isn't physical either. I'm sorry that I didn't stay one word minute in the creek. I'm sorry that the eery waters didn't get what they had hoped for, cause if they did, I would be in my fathers arms. Tears slip down my cheeks uninvited. I move and that's when I notice the pain and soreness of my body. I'd bet the farm that I look a mess. I don't care though, because somewhere out there, people are brutally taken from their families in death. I feel guilty knowing that I want to die while others are happy and loving, getting stripped from their lives. It seems unfair.

Of course I don't want to die, just one second to feel my fathers arms and I would gladly give up the world. I shake my head, I slow my tears. I can't sob in front of this man, this man who could've killed me! It's official, my two seconds of suicidal thoughts are over! I want to live, I'll live kicking and screaming for the love of Betsy Ross! As I am about to tell this jaded eyed man exactly what prices of my mind entail The best thing happens.

I look up into my eyes, the ones with the golden flicks that crinkle at the edges. I cry suddenly, bawling the name

"Mason!"