Crash Into You

Alone and A Brilliant Sky

I had fallen asleep, my head rested on Harry's shoulder. I am now awake, lying in a still bed alone. I can hear no breath of another person, I miss the comforting rise and fall of a chest. I am sitting here staring at the brilliant sky and yet no one can share this light with me. Mason had to leave quite a while ago. He never gives explanations, he just leaves me. I take deep inhales, humoring myself by counting the beat of my pulse after each intake. My head starts to hurt so I pinch the bridge of my nose.

I cannot deny my hurt, and since I'm alone, I don't have to. No one is here, and it absolutely feels hollow. The air now seems stale and cold. I wrap my arms across my frame. My shoes on the floor soon interest me and I manually pick them up and lace them onto my frozen feet. I try to stand.

My legs wobble and vigorously shake, but unlike yesterday I do not fall. I take a risky step forward to find that my foot plants fine onto the tiled floor. I take several steps forward. I can walk! I start to cry and my shoulders shake. I am so content walking that I almost forget the hollow feeling in my heart. Almost. I trudge around and walk to the door in a surprising steadiness.

As if someone had flipped a switch, I fall hard onto my knees, pain scattering furiously through my legs and up my abdomen. I lay there old tears streaking my face. The only reaction I can muster is shock. I just lay there in the floor with thick tears blurring my vision and cooling off my flushed face. I try to stand.

Again as my other attempts to walk, as soon as I stand, I stumble. I cannot feel anything but a numbness of disappointment and depression. I look up as if to ask my father for help. God? Dad? Anyone? I wallow in my sadness for what seems like an infinity before a shadow comes into the room at night and drags me into a deep state of friendly unconsciousness.