Timid (BTS × Reader)

01

Y/N P.O.V

Hi, I'm Y/n, I look like your ordinary college student. Someone that dresses like a bum every day, someone that wakes up super late nearly missing class because they overslept, someone who loves to eat food constantly, you get the idea.

I may seem like your typical college girl on the outside, but on the inside, I'm the complete opposite. I'm a mess you could say.

What I don't show on the outside, is hidden on the inside. I'm endlessly fighting a monster that is gone but not forgotten. You may be wondering what I'm talking about, right?

Well, let me explain, the monster I've mentioned is the memories of my traumatic past. It haunts me every day and night. There's no escape.

My past left me with permanent scars that every time I look at them they remind me of that day it all happened. I hide these memory lines under layers of clothing and beneath my hair. Not to mention because of my past I no longer like to be touched by any human, any physical contact from a human it sets off the monster. Ever since that day, I am cautious around people.

Now that you know about my monster let me tell you its name. The so infamous monster I'm talking about is PTSD.

Now you're probably wondering how or when did this all start, well, it's a long, sad, and traumatic story to tell.

Let's start at the beginning, my parents had been around their teens, so they became parents pretty early because they were irresponsible. Skip some time, after they had me, I guess things were...okay? My parents weren't the best I can tell you that. They did a lot of drugs and other stuff, so they didn't really properly take care of me. It was a decent life up until I was 7, around that time, that's when my life went downhill. My parents started to physically abuse me, they abused me almost daily.

Skip a couple years, and here we are me at age 10. I will never forget that day when it happened. I was at home that day by myself, as usual, my parents were most likely out at one of their buddies house getting high as usual. It was probably around midnight when my parents returned after their hard day in snorting drugs. Since it was late, and a school night I was already asleep when they came home, but they obviously didn't care because as soon as they stepped foot into the house they dragged me out bed, and started hitting me. I remember them yelling that it was my fault that their lives were all messed, I don't know, all I remember was them hitting me a lot harder than usual. Things quickly got out of hand when I noticed the excruciating pain in my stomach and backside. But I had blacked out after that, too overwhelmed with the pain I was feeling and the loss of blood, but before I passed out I caught a glimpse of their faces. I'll never forget the way their eyes looked, even if it was a glimpse it was a enough to see that they were furious, they had the look of a murder in their eyes.

It was a day later when I regained consciousness in the hospital and later found out that my neighbors had called the Police when they heard all the shooting and things breaking in my house. When the police got to my house I was found on the ground passed out and my parents still hitting me. They arrested my parents for child abuse and the abuse of drugs. I was rushed to the hospital and immediately put into surgery. Luckily they were able to help me but because of what my parents did to me that night, I am left with permanent scars. After spending months in the hospital I was released and sent to go live with my grandmother. 

Who knew that my grandmother would be more of a mother than my actual mother was. 

Of course, during this time an investigation was taken place and my parents were put into jail on account of many charges. But of course my parents had to leave me with a parting gift, after seeing a professional, I was diagnosed with PTSD. No surprise there, after I had gotten out of the hospital something in me had changed, I knew I wasn't the same, but I mean who's ever going to be the same after going through all that.