cold | e.d

24

We made it to lunch, but the day was too much for me. Me and Ethan went to a more secluded tree on campus so we could sit down on the grass and I sat in his lap, just cuddling him to calm my anxiety.

His kissed me slowly and softly on my head, in a simple sequence that helped soothe the constant pain.

I saw a short figure walk over and looked up to see Cameron. She seemed concerned, so quickly sat down.
"Mom's been asking where you've been E, she just wants to make sure you're okay."

Ethan looked at me and I nodded, inviting him to tell her.
"I'm fine. Kendra's dad.. he passed away yesterday. I've just been looking after her."

Her face fell in pity, wanting to give me a hug. I let her because all she did was look after me since the first day.
"Oh god I am so sorry. Take him for as long as you need. It's not like we miss him anyway." she attempted to make jest, and it worked. I laughed lightly and held onto Ethan again.

"There you all are! I saw Cam walk over so I decided to check it out. Where the fuck have you been?!" Grayson strolled over, not very observant.
"Shut up Grayson, it's not the right time for that." Cameron smacked him on the arm before he sat down.

"Jheez! Well I'm sorry, I haven't really been keeping in the loop. What's happening?" He looked over but frowned a little at my mellow face.

"Kay are you okay?" He put a hand on my leg and I just sniffled. I shook my head but quickly hid my face, I could feel the tears prickling up.
"It's been hard for her. She's lost her dad. It's just a lot for her. I'm going to stay with her if she needs me."

"Can we go to yours?" I murmured against him. "Why do you want to stay at mine?"
"I can't stay in that house. It's where I last spoke to him.. Where I-"

"-But your mom?" He changed the context to fight away my tears.
"She'll probably go stay at my Grandma's. I'll call her."

After a shaky phone call, my mom had already planned on going and said that I could stay there for a while. But if anything got too much, I'd come to Grandma's immediately.
"I don't know if this will be a good idea, but I can't control what you both do." Cameron said uneasily.

"Why?" Ethan pressed. "Because.. well yknow.. You- You just both aren't dating?"
"Well we are." He confirmed. I was happy that he wasn't afraid to tell people, it showed that he was truly happy.

"Nevermind. But even if you are, it's not been long Ethan. How do you know you can both even survive living with eachother? What if mom isn't okay with it? Not saying having you there wouldn't be great Kendra." She was the good older sister, looking out for her brothers no matter what.

"She has a point E. Dad will be fine but mom's the one you should be concerned about. You know how she is about having girls around. Even if it is Kendra. If you're dating now it's not going to happen." Grayson added. I kept quiet and just looked down, not wanting to get involved.

"I don't need both of you judging my choices, if there's a problem then I'll sort it out with our mother. I just want her to be close to me right now. I don't want anything to happen if I'm not."

I sighed and unsteadily stood up, a bit weak from not eating or drinking. "Careful..." Ethan's big hands grasped me to help me balance. I couldn't deal with it.
"Can we just go? No offence but all this noise is making me feel sick."

"Of course." He followed me and I could tell he pulled the disapproving face to his siblings as we moved away.

___

"Are you mad?"

Ethan was doing pushups on his floor as I walked out of the bathroom, fully showered.
"No. Of course not." He said simply, continuing.

"Liar." I dived into his bed and kept a gloomy expression on. It stayed silent for 10 minutes before I got impatient.

"Ethan."

He grunted. He had stopped his push ups now, and was laying on the floor like a weirdo.

"I didn't even kiss him!" I sighed, just getting it out finally. He sprung up and thrashed his head about like I just told him that I was an alien or something stupid.

"You- You didn't kiss him?! Well you did!" He threw out, on the verge of yelling. "Ethan Dolan, you're such a fucking drama queen."

"Well explain why I walk in and see you all over my brother then?!" He was laughable, honestly. "I freaking walked into him you asshat. I had my arms on him because I would have flown back and broken my back otherwise! Because yes, of course, I was eating his face off. Why don't you believe me?"

He mumbled something under his breath that I didn't quite catch as his head was faced down.

"Pardon? Can I help you?" I raised my voice to tell him I wasn't joking now.
"Nothing." He snapped. "Are you coming in bed? You're making me sound like a bitter wife." I pulled over the covers.

"GRAYSONNNN!" Ethan shouted out. "Fuck off Ethan." I groaned, followed by a tired looking Grayson walking in. His hair was super messy and he just had some basketball shorts on.

"What." He looked over at me and then to him.
"Hey, I SAW THAT! Don't look at her. Did you or did you not kiss her?"

"Are you joking or..?" Grayson laughed before getting ready to go back out.

"Deadly serious. I saw you on each other. Were you kissing?"
"Bro. She tripped and fell into me and she was going to fucking bounce back and hurt herself if she didn't grip onto me. Do I have to tell you this again or are you going to cry like a little bitch about this for some more?"

"Thank you Grayson. You can go to bed, I'm sorry." I apologised on his behalf and gave a stern look to Ethan.

"Come here." I ordered. He shuffled over and before he could react any further, I pulled him down onto the bed.

"You need to stop being so paranoid. You need to believe me. It's ridiculous." I kissed him sweetly and he was hesitant, obviously still holding a grudge.

"Are you going to keep this up? Or do you want me to go to Grays-"

"No! No, no. I'm fine, sorry. He isn't getting you." He grabbed me around the waist and kissed me properly this time.

"Are you coming to school tomorrow? I miss you being there." He added quickly.

I sighed and let go of him. "I don't know."

"It's been a week and a half. I know it doesn't feel like a long time but to me it feels like an eternity. Melissa keeps talking to me and I want to fucking tape her mouth shut."
"Then just tell her you want her to go away. You have a mouth, use it. I don't have to baby you."

"Fine." He got under the sheets and turned away from me. I could have put my hand over and grabbed his shoulder but I was tired of fighting him over the silliest things.

My dad's funeral was days before and I was still recovering, having to watch the soil slowly pour over him. It replayed like a broken record in my mind.
Ethan pushing me away made it worse though.

I could feel myself wanting to cry so I sat up to breathe better. I slipped out of the bed and made my way down into the kitchen for a glass of water.

I sat down and swilled the water in the cup, staring into space. Suddenly a pair of hands landed on my waist area, tapping and hearing the simple word, "boo.".

-
OOP Im so shit at updating goodness, well 50 votes and 65 comments for an update so I have some time to write haha