I'm not unbreakable

CHAPTER 5 "Yellow Submarine" (Rose and Luisas POV)

Luisa awoke in a white linen bed, that smelled of fresh lavender. She stretched, realising she was wearing last nights clothes.

She sat up quickly, everything that had happened came flooding back. Her face scrunched up with stress as she unbuttoned her blouse, the collar felt suffocatingly close.

Luisa heard the metal door click, creaking as it opened. The sound triggered a memory of the happy times she and her mom had spent on her dads boat. That feeling of sunshine, warming her skin as the salt air nipped at her cheeks. She smiled.

The sight of black curled hair brought her back to reality. Rose looked at Luisa the way every person wants to be looked at, with love and admiration. Rose sat on the bed, her hand caressing Luisa's face. Luisa leaned into Rose's hand, she felt complete and utter bliss.

All the horrible actions Rose had committed melted away with one look into her eyes. But of course they couldn't be ignored forever, the list got longer and longer by the second. The murder, the lying, the betrayal. It all started to add up. Luisa felt as though she was carrying it all on her shoulders, weakening her with every movement.

Luisa couldn't take it any more, her brother was right. She was being manipulated and controlled by Rose, yet again. But being here with her, being in that moment, it felt right. It felt... safe.

She wanted so much from Rose that it hurt. She wanted a normal life, to come home at the end of the day and be greeted by her. To go on romantic walks by the sea. To curl up together on the sofa watching bad films. But she knew deep down that this was ridiculous, she'd never have any of those things.

She felt a bitter anger deep in her chest that hurt when she breathed. All the weight she carried on her shoulders, that pushed her down felt deathly. She flinched away from Rose's touch, she couldn't stand being near her, it hurt too much.

Luisa pulled the sheets around her shoulders, standing up as she childishly climbed over Rose and walked to the other side of the room. Rose furrowed her brow in confusion following Luisa.

Luisa turned to face Rose, breathing in deeply she felt her lungs burn and expand. "Rose, we can't do this, we can't just drop everything and pretend nothing happened. You're a murderer, a drug dealer and god knows what else. I've tried to forget you and move on. But just like alcohol, I've become addicted to you." Luisa smiled slightly at the last bit, her unhealthy obsessions.

Rose stood, completely taken aback. She spoke in a soft even tone "Everything I did I did for you? Can't you understand that?! You weren't part of the plan."

Luisa leaned against the wall, feeling for balance and strength "So what?! I just got in the way of your stupid plan? Rose if you really cared you would've let me go".

"Luisa you know I couldn't let you go, you already know the answer to that".

"Rose I swear if say you did all of these terrible things because you LOVE ME I don't know what I'll do".

"Luisa you know I love you, I've changed I promise. I'll do anything just please give me a chance to show you."

Luisa clenched her fists, she felt her blood boil as her head begin to throb with rage. "I wish I had NEVER MET YOU!, I can't believe anything you say, they were right, you are a sociopath, please just let me go. We're bad for each other!"

Rose took a step towards Luisa her face flushed and eyes watering. Luisa once again pulled away, her jaw clenched with distress and heartache. Her back arched against the wall.

"Don't fucking touch me! You killed my father Rose! Don't you understand that? You kidnapped my nephew, my own brother won't trust me ever again? He was all I had left?! Please just go". Luisa's shoulders shook as her sobbing became hysterical, everything that she had bottled up inside, now coming to light.

Rose was completely overwhelmed, something that she rarely felt. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she sat outside Luisa's door, her arms wrapped tightly around her body. She rocked back and forth as her breath quickened.

She felt a heavy weight on her chest and struggled to breath, she couldn't loose Luisa, not again.

Her nails dug hard into her shoulders, marking them and drawing blood. She tried to calm down and stand up but found herself hyperventilating even more. She lay on the floor the carpet snagging on her skin. She felt strong arms surrounding her and pulling her close to their chest. She gasped as Luisa held her.

Rose whispered "I'm sorry Luisa" over and over until Luisa kissed her hard. Heat rushed to Rose's face. Both women sat on the floor until Rose's breathing normalised. Luisa brushed a stray curl behind Rose's ear, stroking the silkiness of her jaw.

They returned to the bedroom, entangled in each other's limbs as they talked for what felt like hours. They agreed on a plan. So they'd both be happy. As they curled into each other Luisa felt so content she could burst, her outburst made her head feel clear and light from worry. She placed her hand on Rose's waist pulling her close to her. Luisa worried about Rose's panic attack, but in a way felt glad that she understood the enormity of her actions. She didn't know if the reason for the attack was because of her or an underlying problem.

Rose felt a sense of calmness wash over her body, as she lay close to Luisa. Her head lay over her lovers chest, listening to the rise and fall of her breath.

"Luisa I'll do whatever you want, I just want you to be safe and happy".

"Oh really? Anything?" Luisa said with bedroom eyes and a cheeky smirk.

"Anything..." Rose whispered.