Life in All Directions

Night Changes

Roughly, March 2015.

Weeks before the boys went public about "taking a break", we, as well as some members of management, were all sitting on the tour bus deciding what was to happen to me.

"Although it's sad boys, one of you is going to have to take 'full custody' of EmiLee. She's going to have to have a main home and, and school! She's about to start high school! She can't do that online! Well, she could, but she shouldn't. Do what's best for your child." One manager stated after a few moments of complete silence. I never bothered to remember their managers' name. Especially since I rarely ever saw them, unlike my dad's, who saw them at least once a week.

"He's right lads. We all want to go off and do our own thing, so with that, we will have to share our child. It's not going to be easy, but we knew this day would come. Em, why don't you decide who you want to live with yea? Whoever you decide, we will all be okay with because again. We are all going to get to see you, talk to you, and spend time with you as a father should. You just need to decide for yourself where you want to be and go to school." Louis responded while hugging me. I wasn't looking at anyone, just my shoes.

By now I had learned every detail of these shoes. The sides have little marks from where my toes bend when I walk, the laces aren't quite as white as they once where, and a quote I wrote on the white part at the toes is barely there. I took in all that was happening around me before slowly answering.

"Do I have to answer now?
...
I can't right now, please don't make me choose now!" I stutter out while the tears finally fell from my eyes. They had been threatening to slip every since this meeting started.

"No, no definitely not now sweetheart. We will need to know by the end of this week, however. Boys, we will set up a media set for you all to announce the news. Then Zayn, you are able to go, everything has been finalized for that. The rest, finish up this tour and work on that studio album, and then all is set for your separate paths. Talk to you tomorrow." The lady from their management stated before seeing herself and the team off the bus.

I couldn't speak or move, I was curled up in a ball crying. Of course, I knew this day would come, but no amount of preparation can ready you for your reaction. While in my ball on the couch, I could feel my dad's hugging me, rubbing my back, and whispering amongst themselves. After a few minutes of this, I got up and excused myself to my bed. No one followed, they just let me be.

While in bed my mind swirled about with what I should do. I hate Louis for putting me on the spot like this. I feel as though having to pick where I'm going to stay and do my schooling is like picking a favorite parent. I love all my parents equally. This is definitely going to be the biggest and toughest decision I will ever make in my lifetime. AND I'M ONLY 14!!

I've probably been lying awake staring at the bottom of the bunk above me for about an hour or so. A few minutes ago I heard Liam yell to me that they were going into the stadium to start getting ready for the concert and that when I'm ready, or if I even want to, to come inside. I lay there for a bit longer and then decide to get myself out of the bus. If I stay cooped up in here it's not going to help my thinking process. Not that I plan on choosing by tonight, I've just been on this bus too long. I grab my phone off the coffee table where I left it earlier and step outside. On each side of the door stands a member of security.

"Ready to go inside, little lady?" The tall guy says to me with a smile. The security team is different everywhere we go, so I don't bother with names.

"I'm not that little, but no, actually I wanna go for a walk. Care to show me around?"

"um sure. Shouldn't we go ask your father's first?" he questioned.

"Nah. I texted them and they said it was fine as long as I took one of you. Typical." I shrugged right through the lie. My dads have no idea that I'm about to go out into town. They would've definitely said no unless I was with at least one of them AND security. But what they don't know won't hurt them. Plus, I'm being responsible by taking a member of security.

"Alright well, let's go," he stated as he leads the way.

The city we were in was beautiful! Could easily see that there was much of this town to be seen. But we only saw what was visible from the main strip. By walking around with this guy, it doesn't seem strange. Like I don't get noticed like I do when I'm with my dads. This security guard and I look like a father who just got off work and took his daughter out for dinner. It is nice to be able to freely walk around without other screaming people and shit. People are truly insane when it comes to celebrities. The guard bought me ice cream on our walk back. I told him my dad's needed me back before the concert was over, but really I just needed to be back before my dad's get back on the bus.

When we get back to the bus I see that we succeeded in my goal to be back first. Now I just need to keep this guard away from my dad's so he doesn't mention anything about my walk. I'll just ask him to go get me something. When I pop my head back out the bus door, I am met with the other guard who was about to knock.

"Oh hi, EmiLee. I was just going to tell you that we have to go now, but your dads are about to leave the stadium. Hope you have a good night. " he smiles and waves as him and the guy that walked with me, get into their SUV and drive off.

Nice, I didn't have to stall him away. After I close the door back I grab a blanket, Liam's computer, and settle into this huge, I mean absolutely huge, bean bag we have in the "living room" of the bus. About ten minutes into watching this new show I started, my dads enter the bus, so I pause the show. After their concerts, they always sit and chat before going to bed.

"Hey Emi, guess you didn't want to come to the stadium? They had some good food set up backstage. Like actual food, not snacks like there usually is." Niall asks sitting on the couch next to the bean bag. Instead of answering with words I just nod my head.

"Other than the obvious situation going on, Is there anything else bothering you? You haven't spoken a word since the meeting. You know you can talk to us about anything right?" Liam states from where he is sitting on the couch across from me. Again, I just nod.

It may seem like I am mad at them, but really I'm just not in the talking mood. There is nothing I can say that will be worth saying. They gave up on getting me to talk so they talked among themselves and I went back to watching my show. But I wasn't even watching it, I was thinking about other things. I wanted to actually watch this show, so I switched over to a movie I've seen a hundred times so it would look like I'm watching it when really I'm thinking.

I'm thinking about how Daddy Zayn's last day in the band is this week. How I'm not going to get to see him until at least the tour is over, but then it may be even longer after that. How that wherever I end up living, I'm only going to video chat and call my other fathers until school is out or on holiday break. Oh geez! The holidays are going to be non-stop plane hopping in order to be with all my family. Maybe they will let me do homeschooling? Probably not, but I could try. With homeschooling, all I'll need is a computer and then I can be anywhere. Pro: I'll get to see all my dad's more. Con: I won't be socializing and making friends as they want me too. Pro: I won't have to choose a "main home". See? More pros than cons. I sense a winner. Winner winner chicken dinner.

Ooh. Chicken dinner sounds good right about now. All I've had today was that ice cream. I need some real food. I pause the movie and look up to see that only Niall and Harry are left in the room. Scratch that, only Niall, Harry is leaving now.

"Goodnight pumpkin. Love you," he says before giving me a kiss on the forehead. I don't say anything until he is in bed.

"Hey daddy, are you hungry? Or is it just me?" I said while placing a hand on my stomach.

"I'm not starving, but I could eat. What are you wanting? There isn't much on this bus but I'm sure we can find something. "

"Think we could get the bus to take us to a KFC?" I smile big and bat my eyes.

"Oh, your definitely my daughter alright. Let me go see." he laughs as he gets up to go talk to the driver. A few minutes later he returns and says that the next one they see, they will pull over to.