Life in All Directions

What a Feeling

While dad Ni and I were eating our late dinner we talked about random things. Like what would happen if this? What would we do if this? Just having a good ole time, so I decided now was a good time to ask about homeschooling. 

"Hey, so I know you and dad's want me to go to a real high school. But I was thinking, and I would much rather do homeschooling. I mean I would get to see all of you more and-"

"No. We've talked about it many times and homeschooling is not an option anymore. You've done it while we've been on tour and it has worked. But now that we are settling down, the deal is you actually attend a school. So no."

He states as he cleans up his mess and throws it in the trash.

"But dad, just listen. I wouldn't have to be constantly plane hopping on breaks and holidays if I did online homeschooling! Like, like, it would honestly be so much easier. Please." I beg as I clean up my mess as well. I got so frustrated I completely forgot my argument!

"I'm sorry EmiLee. Our decision is final. We are aware that breaks and holidays are going to be rough. But only until we find a system that works. It shouldn't take long and then all the flying around will feel no different than what it felt like to be on tour. Sweet girl,  don't you want to make friends and try to have a "normal" teenage life?" he asks sitting next to me on the floor.

"Yea but I would rather be friend-less than pick favorites," I say as the tears come back.

"Aw honey, what do you mean to pick favorites? Who's asking you to pick favorites?"

"You guys! You honestly expect me to be able to pick a "main home"?! You're literally asking me who I'd rather live with! No matter how you put it or explain it. The real question is: who is your favorite father?" I scream out and cry into Niall's chest.

"Okay,  okay,  sweets you're going to have to lower your voice and calm down so we can talk.  Alright? Now, I'm sorry you feel as though we are making you pick favorites. We didn't mean that. We just want you to have a say.  Yes, we could easily pick where you go for you, but we didn't feel that would be fair to you, for us to continue dragging you around as we have to during a tour." Niall explains while rubbing circles in my back.

"That makes sense, but I just feel like I'm going to hurt your feelings," I say slowly calming down.

"I don't know what to say that will make you believe that you won't hurt our feelings.  We will work it out to where you are still the daughter to all of us. Okay? Here, how about we get some sleep and talk more in the morning yea? I'll get us some blankets and we will sleep in the bean bag like we used to." 

That made me smile. I remember when I used to have really bad nightmares, Niall would cuddle me in the bean bag to calm me down and then we would just sleep there. When he came back with a blanket for each of us, we got situated and then it was like we were both out like a light. Later, the bus came to a sudden stop which woke me up. Dad Ni slept right on through. Dad's have adapted to sleep through just about anything. Me,  not so much. After a few moments, I feel the bus start to move again. I re-situate and try to go back to sleep, but when I close my eyes my mind is flooded with the dream I was having before I was woken up...

I woke up to the sound of a loud crash. I jump up and look to see that Dad Harry had dropped his phone on the floor and then had tripped trying to pick it up.

"getting an early start on the drinking today Harry?" Niall laughed out.

"Lad I swear I didn't sleep a minute last night. Did you have a nightmare Em?" Harry asks me coming to sit on the couch beside the bean bag.