Life in All Directions

I Want

After leaving the makeshift recording studio, we head back up a room and just lay around until one of the management members delivered us our take out. I ordered the hibachi chicken and steak and an order of chicken tempura. My favorite.

Dads discussed tomorrow's show and a few of the upcoming interviews and such. I was trying to think about how to bring up the topic into the conversation. I know Dad Zi tried to prepare me for this moment, but when it came to actually do it, my mind went blank. Do I just blurt it out? Ugh...

"Hey Daddy Ni, remember when you guys were doing that back to school thing at that high school near your house?" I plainly ask while looking across the room to him on the other bed. Clearly, my question caught him off guard, but he answered with a quick, "yea?"

"So I was looking into that school because I remember seeing their competitive cheer team practicing while we were there, and thought that was really cool. So anyway, I had my online schooling transcript sent there, and tryouts for the cheer team are two weeks after we return home from tour." I explain. I didn't specifically say I was living with Niall. Hopefully, through that explanation, they got the point.

Well... I say that, but now they are all just staring at me...

"What?" I ask while drinking my water.

"So, you're going to live with me?" Niall asks slowly.

"If that is okay..."

"Well, of course, it's okay, I just, I mean, I honestly... I wasn't expecting you to already have that figured out. You do know you don't have to have it all figured out right?"

"Yea I know, but I think this will work best. And Dad Zi and I have been looking at the school breaks, or holidays, schedule and I think we have figured out a flight plan that will allow me to see all of you without being shoved around constantly." I reply while looking around at all my dads. I can't decide if they are happy or upset or anything. Literally, all their faces are blank.

"Well, that sounds great sweets," Harry states. With that, everyone goes back to eating and discussing other things like everything I just said, meant nothing.

That does not help the anxiety rush building up. All through dinner, my mind swirled with thoughts.
Is this something that they are going to think about, and then we will talk about later? Now seems like a perfect time. Can we please now? It is my choice, right? Or was that just some cover to make me feel like I was in control of my life, but really they are going to make the final say...

No EmiLee, that's ridiculous. omg...

Yet, after dinner, we watched a movie and then went to bed. Nothing more, nothing less.

I was so anxious that I couldn't sleep. So I got my phone and went to the bathroom. I would've just stayed in bed, but I was unable to get my own room. Therefore, I was sharing with Dad Li, and he was out like a light. When in the bathroom I texted Dad Ni to see if he was awake. Obviously, he was because he texted back quickly. I told him I was coming to his room and with that, I went. When I got to his door I saw that he had already unlocked it. The only light that was on in the room was the lamp on the bedside table. Dad Ni was sitting up in the bed, so I sat across from him, and for a moment, we just sat in silence.

"Why was that all that was said at dinner?" I finally asked, interrupting the silence.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I expected there to be more emotion or more to talk about. Not just 'well that sounds great', " I explain imitating Harry's voice.

"I think it's just gonna take everyone some time to process the information, but no one is going to try to talk you out of your decision. I, of course, think it is great that you want to live me, princess. What I really like is that you looked into schools, and choose one based on an activity that you are interested in. I'm truly excited that you are going to be doing more than being dragged from country to country." Dad Ni replied. In the middle of him talking he motioned for me to cuddle up next to him, so now I am just laying against him listening to his heartbeat as he talks.

"I'm just worried I've upset someone,"

"I don't think you have sweets. Granted, I could be wrong, but as far as I know, we all just want what you want. I can't promise you it is going to be easy, but I can promise that it will all be worth it."

"Daddy," I reply as I'm slowly falling asleep.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you too baby girl."