Dystopia {GXG}

stay alive for me, and I'll stay alive for you.

I realized how quick someone can become ones drug, it was so clear to me, when that one person was your source of happiness how easy it would be to become attached to them, because no one makes you feel alive like they do, no one could make the soft version of you come out like they could because you were in love, but letting go is the hardest part, the contemplation to either keep fighting or give up is the one thing that makes your mind go crazy. You think I'm mad don't you? You think that I'm not normal don't you? I'm a good person I really am I promise you believe me. I just want to feel love again, I'm not what everyone thinks of me to be, I try my hardest for everything and everyone around me but it never was enough, my name was still buried in the ground, six feet under.

I lay lifelessly in my bed whilst my phone floods with calls and messages. The vibrations began to irritate me, and I picked up my phone out of frustration skim reading through all the texts and miss calls I received, I respond to the are you okays but when I opened one of the messages, showed a picture of me, Last night. I looked awfully wheezy and uncomfortable it looked like before that happened. I still tried to block it out and continue on with my day not thinking of it at all.

I had to understand that it was nearly back to school, in an environment surrounded by people I hate. Classifying me as some sort of Emo, I wasn't an emo right? I'm perfectly normal right? i tried to fit in but people didn't want to speak to me at all. I couldn't help it Sadness and anger is all I know; almost an undeniable constant emotion for me. I couldn't get out of it, it was something that was attached to me.

-Monday Morning-

School came too quickly, and I longed for a break. I hated going there as there was constantly judgemental eyes degrading me where ever I went all the time it was something new, a new rumour a new story to tell, a new name I was called, The little people that talked to me where staff or new people but after a while I became the person no one wanted to work with in class, The chore your mother continued to nag you for 6 months about that you never wanted to do and- you get the idea.

(FORM- MORNING REGISTRATION)

I was reluctantly given a new timetable and Diary with a pen. While I try to overhear who is in my classes, I overhear that one of my classmates are suicidal, almost at the end, breathing just breathing. I feel like I should almost help. I was suffocating in my thoughts,

dying within them and no one was there i should help.

I bunked the last periods because, the class rooms were full of the kids that turned me the way I am today.

I tried as hard as I could to blend in with the people that flooded toward the lunch hall, I sat by myself waiting hopelessly until she came.
As much as I began to overthink I tried as hard as I could to try and talk to her.
Me being muddled in my thoughts did not realize that she was in the lunch hall sitting by herself as people started and gossiped about her.
I tried to approach her and sit next to her trying my hardest not to look like a mentor that will eventually use everything against you.
As soon as I sat down she looked up and said hello with a forced smile.
I realized how pretty she was,
A straight nose freckles, with big sparkly blue eyes, she was almost perfect.
"whats your name?" I asked as calmly as I could.
"Xena" she quietly replied.
We talked about our interests for the rest of lunch, things went quickly but at the end, I gave her my number, so she could text me after school I suggest her bunk the next lesson and to my surprise, she agreed, we sat quietly under the stairs eating her lunch as I admired her, she noticed I was staring and her face turned red.

"would you like some of my sandwiches?" Xena asked.

"uh yeah why not, don't poison me though," I said as with a laugh.

-At home-
My day at School was okay today surprisingly, I threw my bag to the ground and ran to the shower.
After I finished, I hear my phone ring
"I should've let you know that you're my only one..." I dashed to my phone and answered it.
It was Xena
The call lasted for hours until we fell asleep, but I made sure to ask her why she was... Suicidal.
"when I was younger my mother passed away, it hurt me a lot because I never had someone who would do my hair or help me pick out things or play dress up with me, it was always different people, my dad was too unattached to even realise how much it hurt me and would just attempt to buy my love, my brother would take everything out on me and would just hit me all the time without a good reason why. I never felt like I fit in and when people began to mock me for the way I looked I guess it all got to me, because of no matter where I went id always be hurt either emotionally or physically. I never knew how to take care of myself properly and honestly, people would always mention my mother so it would tear me apart"
I tried to be as considerate and careful with my response, but my words seemed to do some sort of help.

It became a routine we'd do everything together because we only had each other we only understood each other. It happened every day for over a month. I began to know a lot more about her and she started to understand me too. But she could never know, what I did for the one I love.

There was a part of me that not only enjoyed Xena's company but her comfort almost soothed me, the war, the destruction within me came to a stop whilst I was with her.

But the next day of school I almost realised she was too quiet, too quiet silent at most, she looked mortified, I kept asking her what was wrong but I just got a nothing.
I almost gave up until,
I looked at a blue mark on her arm, like a bruise,
"my brother would take everything out on me and would just hit me all the time without a good reason why"
That sentence repeated in my ears for a good while. I grab her arm and role up her sleeve only to discover...