Open Shop: Reviews, Editing, Research

Rogue Wolf

Author: Multijoys.

Genre: Werewolf.

Chapters Reviewed: Eighty-three.

Overall Score: 65/100.

This review was done in association with The Nefarious Reviews (The_Nefarious).

Cover, Title, and Blurb:

-- Cover: I'm going to be entirely honest... not a fan. Starting with the background image, it's abundantly clear that the wolf doesn't belong. A quick look at the lighting tells me that. Speaking of the lighting, the picture is too bright-- the far background is the most clear part of the image; the boy, on the other hand, is washed out by the light. I also have some issues with the text. "A Brother Wolf Novel" is a different font style from the title and author name, and it's also off-center. So on the whole, it just doesn't look professional. There are plenty of people on Wattpad who can do covers, so I'd highly recommend seeking them out so that your story doesn't lose potential readers.

-- Title: It fits. Nothin' more to say there.

-- Blurb: I think there are some details in here that you don't need. For example, the whole "Jax never... time with" paragraph feels like excessive information that could be established in the story. Beyond that, I think it's just fine-- establishes enough to go on. There are some grammar issues, but I'll get to that soon.

Score: 2.5/5.

Grammar:

-- Commas: this is the main issue in the blurb, and it continues throughout the story. For example, "By the time he was eleven[,] he stayed". This seems to happen before pronouns quite frequently; in your blurb, there's the aforementioned example, but there's also "moment[,] he", "jumps[,] he", and "One night[,] he". So comma use: before coordinating conjunctions that link independent clauses, after dependent clauses that begin the sentence, to separate appositives, in lists (optional but recommended: the Oxford comma), after introductory adverbs, with quotes, with addresses, with dates, after "Yes" or "No" given that either is the first word of a sentence, when addressing someone, with more than one adjective describing the same noun, and sometimes with negation.

-- Semicolons: so semicolons can be tricky beasts. The usage there is pretty specific. Primarily, they're used to link two or more independent clauses that are closely related in subject. It should also be used in lists when one of the items in that list contains commas. So looking at your Chapter 65, you can see Jax/Scout saying "my Alpha Maximus; and not just for him". That last part isn't part of a list. It can't stand alone. Therefore, a comma should be used instead.

-- Sentence Structure: especially in the early chapters, I noticed that a lot of sentences would have the same structure or would begin with the same word. For example, Chapter Two: many of the sentences are subject-verb, and you can see the same first word in many paragraphs-- look at the paragraph "After a few hours... my mood". That kind of thing is around a lot.

Those are the main issues I saw throughout the story. I'd recommend giving the story a go-through to catch all of those, or to find an editor/beta reader who can point them all out. 

Score: 11/15.

Plot and Overall Entertainment:

I'm going to structure this a bit differently than usual, since it's easier for me to make the points I want to make in this format. It'll also let me be a bit more in-depth, I think.