break up

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When I walk onto the roof I instantly stop, hesitating to continue walking closer.

I see him. Oh no. Too soon. Not Sebastian, please not right now.

I stand there, a distance away from Sebastian, hesitating to walk closer.

At this point I'm plotting out my choices, debating to wether

1. Run away and never come back

2. Leave and call Tyler to ask if he can pick me up or

3. Clean up and pretend Sebastian isn't there

"Fucking Stephanie" I hear Sebastian say to himself while practically throwing his phone.

"That brunette bitch ruined everything" he says while I see him wipe his eyes.

Oh no. I didn't really make Sebastian cry did I? "Its just Allergies" I say to myself. "He's fine" I tell myself and start to slightly panic.

I start to feel a rush of anxiety coming. No no no please not now Celeste. Get yourself back together, you have to focus.

As I'm trying to calm myself down I start to hear.. voices

"Everyone makes mistakes Celeste, you should just forgive him. One little kiss doesn't hurt anyone" I hear.

"How could you be so stupid?! Typical Celeste, running away from her problems, always complains about them but never does anything to solve them. Might as well just give up now" another one says.

"Cheated on. Again?! Are you gonna take it and suck it up and take it or are you going to defend yourself? Woman up Celeste! Quit crying, stop being so lame!" the other one says.

Hearing these different voices, all just  invading my thoughts start to confuse me.

How did I end up here? Happy as can be. Ready to help my best friend plan her wedding in hopes that maybe I could soon have a wedding of my- oh no.

Tears. Too many tears coming down. I feel mentally exhausted and I can't take this anymore.

I see Sebastian stand up and just rest his hands on top of his head while looking at the stars.

As I'm trying to wipe away my tears as fast as I can I end up making a sort of hiccup sound.

Oh no. I just made everything worse. Sebastian heard my hiccup sound. He takes his hands off that were resting atop of his head and turns to look at me.

"Celeste?" he asks kind of quietly but loud enough for me to hear.

I just nod my head side to side while looking down in hopes he'd stop talking to me.

"Oh Celeste I'm so sorry" he says running up to hug me. I don't hug back. I just stand there still trying to get myself together enough before I speak.

"I know I hurt you and I'm sorry, will you forgive me?" he asks while holding me.

At this point I feel fed up. For 2 years I've put up with shit like this and Sebastian's choice of words is giving me memories I should never have to relive.

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