I remember sitting in the back seat.I remember blasting lana del Rey. I remember the smell of fresh cut grass and crisp leaves coming through the slightly opened window.I remember my parents in the front seat.I remember my dad making cheesy jokes and my mom lightly hitting him on the arm chuckling to herself.I remember laying my head against the window and closing my eyes and for once being happy.I also remember the car speeding toward us.The horrified look on my moms face.I remember my blood turning ice cold and as the car hit us and everything feeling like it was going in slow motion. Everything blurry and my head flinging forward and hitting the passenger seat and me feeling light headed.Everything was starting to get blurry.before i pass out I see my dad turn around with an angry look "It's your fault this happened I'm dead because of you"!
He says angrily with hate in his eyes. "No I didn't mean to-". I say slurred but before I can finish I get dizzy and everything goes black.
I wake up in a sweat i quickly sit up in my bed the sheets and blankets in a tangled mess.I sit there gasping for air in a confused shock.Beads of sweat are running down my face.thats the 12th time this month I've had that dream.Over and over again I see my dad's angry face hate in his eyes telling me it's my fault he's dead.Before I can calm myself down I can feel the tears building up in my eyes and run down my face. I sob into my pillow the tears seeming to never stop. I rock back and forth sobbing into my pillow."It's all my fault"! "I didn't mean to"! I sob. It's true it's all my fault that day the car accident happened my parents were driving me to a friends barbecue.Oh god if only I had just said no,said I had plans or something.
I wish I had someone to talk to.My dad was dead and after the accident my mom changed she got angry and sad and I was the punching bag she took her anger out on.She abused me verbally and physically I never said anything back or did anything about it I probably deserve it.
I cry for what seems like hours before finally calming myself down and lying back down. there was no way I was going back to sleep I wasn't taking a risk of having another night mare so I go on my iPhone and play games and check all my social medias until I see daylight creeping through my window. I get up and hop in and take a quick shower and quickly get dressed into a white T-shirt,skinny jeans along with my blue converse. I look in the mirror I'm honestly not anything that pretty.I have average brown curly hair I don't have the flattest stomach and I could probably lose a little weight. I also have long legs which would be great if I didn't have such pale skin.All in all I don't like what I see.
I walk downstairs and look at my phone it read 6:27 shit! I'm gonna be late I only have time for something quick I look around and grab an apple before running and grabbing my bag. I turn around and am running down the hall at this point I only have 2 minutes until the bus comes as I take the turn to the door I slam into my mom. Crap. "Sorry"! I say fearful of what she would do. I get this knot in my stomach as I see my mom get the angry look on her face. She grabs me by my hair as to hold me still so I don't run or dodge her hit and smacks me hard across the face "You little ungrateful bitch I take care of you have you raised you from a baby and you think its funny to run into me"? She says angrily. "Your fucking 16 for heavens sake Diana you can't watch where your going"! She says still holding a tight grip of my hair. I glance down at my phone 6:30 crap I'm gonna be late. "I know I'm so sorry mom please it won't happen again"! I say scared that she'll rather hit me again or I'll miss the bus and I'll get a really bad beating if that happens. She notices me looking at my phone and sees the time "Fuck".She mumbles under her breath "Your lucky you got out of it this time but let it happen again and you'll learn what the word beating really means". She says letting go of my hair and shoving me towards the door.
I run towards the bus stop barley making it and run up the steps and slide into the first seat I see. Hell here I come.
