☆𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲☆ [𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐖]

☆The World☆

Stefani P.O.V.

"Ugly."

"You're still alive?"

"Why don't you kill yourself?"

Comments I get on a regular basis, either online or in person. Growing up I wasn't really the approachable twin. Yes, twin. My sister Stephanie and I were each others' best friend. (She was 3 minutes older than me.) If I got hurt she got (felt) hurt too, if she had an argument I would back her and support her. We had the same exact toys, shoes, etc. We used to keep each other out of trouble, and so on. Until later on in the years, she became more noticeable...popular...prettier.

In middle school, yeah there's puberty, and stuff but between Steph and I, I was the only one who got the bad parts of puberty. Ance, oily skin, and extra hair on the arms. However, Steph got the development of her breasts, taller, and 'mature.' Throughout middle school I was the "unattractive" twin. I would get bullied, teased, pushed around, and beat. I was too weak to fight back. The one thing that would wreck me was that the more it went on, Stephanie didn't do a damn thing about it. She actually fed it on. I thought we were supposed to have each others back, help the other up when they fall. But no she would care about her reputation and popularity and cool friends. I didn't tell anyone because I thought it could make things worse.

I fell into a depression I used to not care about what others think but now it's just hell. Some days, I would try to copy Stephanie and wear makeup, wear clothes like her and even try to sound and act like her, still no respect. Some days I would skip meals because I felt too worthless. I used to wake up every morning and ask myself why did I make it to the next day, on the weekends I couldn't even get out of bed. I would quietly cry myself to sleep. I had nobody.

My parents wouldn't understand because mental health is not taken seriously in their minds, Stephanie is just a bimbo head bitch, and the 'friends' I had only used me to get closer to Stephanie. Even one guy dated me to get closer to her but my pre-teen self couldn't even see that. After all that, I started to make a promise to myself, to make myself successful and happy and to not let people get in my way and not to give a damn.

Throughout high school, I still didn't give a damn. Stayed quiet to myself, I focused on my studies, took care of myself, and later on, I felt better than ever. I was number three on the class rank in just my freshman year, I was an avid reader, and gained better learning skills. The bullying still continued.

The summer before Sophomore year, my acne was fading, my chest got bigger, thighs and bottom got thicker, and my face became more structured. However, I had to get braces.

The school year started and my academics were still great, the bullying died down, I tried doing makeup, and I joined the girls volleyball team just for fitness reasons, and I started to look good in shorts... ;)

Junior year, my ACT score was 33 and more people started talking to me and Stephanie and I started to get along again.. Which I found odd. Colleges were also put into a major search category for me. No time for boy search now~.

Senior year, I was given a scholarship, a few months I get my braces off, and way more people started talking to me, but that didn't distract me. If anything I thought it was another trick.

My graduation was the best. I made my family proud and I finished my journey and kept my promise.

However as things got better for me, things got bad for Steph, she wasn't academically wise, she still kept her fake persona which made her lose friends and she got so many on and off boyfriends throughout our four years of high school. Of course our parents were mad as fuck but Stephanie being Stephanie, she didn't care she went her own way. She got lucky for me to help her with school but, she didn't graduate on time. If anything I felt bad. Even though she made my life hell at a point, she's still my sister.

The summer before college, I overcame my depression and I wanted to get a job. Just to help out around the house and to get some money for myself, before I leave to Columbia University. Even though I had a scholarship, I still want to be able to get lunch and stuff like, a girl gotta eat! As I was searching online for jobs around the area, I saw there were openings for a new waitress/waiter for a local diner nearby and it took me less than two seconds to call. At the end of the call, I was informed that I have to get to the diner by 7:15 tomorrow for an  interview. I was glad I got to open a new chapter in my life, but damn WHY SO EARLY?!