I took HIS VIRGINITY.

Chapter 29: No matter what

Chapter 29: No Matter What

It's been weeks since I left Josh. Actually, it has already been more than a month. It's already the first week of Febuary and Josh still hasn't stop chasing. Pero alam ko, He'd move on real soon. He could get any girl he wants. He's the perfect example of perfection. And that, he deserves the best in the world. Not just some slut like me.

I've been staying at Jess's. Nagrereklamo na nga daw si Nate kase sa condo ni Nate sila laging nagmimilagro. Namimiss na daw ni Nate yung condo nya. Jess just explained it to Nate na I'm staying here but of course she asked him to keep it a secret since I've been hiding from Josh. I'm currently here sa sala ni Jess. Just flipping channels. Yeah. My life's been boring since I left him. Nagdrop din ako sa school. Of course, makikita nya ko if I didn't. Maya maya I heard the Knob. Of course, si Jess yan. Syempre tama ako ayan oh pumapasok na siya.

Pagkasara nya ng pinto, she gave me a look. Parang nanunuyo yung mata nya. Nilapag nya yung bag nya sa single sofa saka naupo sa tabi ko. Huminga siya ng malalim.

"Nik."

"What?"

"I think you should face him."

"Jess, napagusapan na natin 'to. You know I can't."

"Nik, magkaiba ang ayaw at hindi kaya." Natahimik ako. She's right. But I really can't. I can't face him after what I did. I can't even face him after I got raped.

Jess looked at me intently. Hinawakan nya ang magkabilang balikat ko then she said "Nik, kahit kelan hindi naging solusyon ang pagtakbo. You have to face your problems. Josh loves you, very very much. He can accept you again. Diba nga, kahit na hindi ka yung tipo na nagseseryoso ng relationship, kahit papalit-palit ka ng mga lalaki, Kahit alam nya na maliit ang chance para sa inyong dalawa, he took the risk. He doesn't care of what people will think or say. Ang importante sa kanya magkaroon ng 'kayo'. Kaya nga ko naging shipper ng NikOsh eh. Mas naappreciate ko siya kesa kay Caden."

I kept silent for a while. I was thinking. Jess was right. He would still love me for who I am. Kahit ano pa yon. Pero nahihiya akong ioffer ang sarili ko sa kanya. Siya, I know for sure na ako lang talaga. Pero pano naman ako? Marami nang nakatikim sakin bago pa siya dumating sa buhay ko. And yeah, we both agreed na we're both virgins when we gave ourselves a chance pero ano? Diba binaboy ako ng gagong Alex na yun? I can't offer him myself anymore. He deserves someone better. Tinignan ko si Jess ng alanganin.

"Oh c'mon, Nik!" Nafafrustrate na sabi ni Jess. "C'mon, just give him a closure. Please. Kahit yun nalang. Nakakaawa na kasi talaga si Josh. He can't continue with his life. Dali naaaa. Para makamove on na yung tao. Maawa ka naman, Nik. He deserves something better than a goodbye sticky note."

I sighed. "Fine. I'll talk to him. Pero-"

"Oops. Wala nang baiwan. Wait lang. Be right back." Lumabas siya ng pinto. She left me confused. I just shrugged and continued flipping channels. In a minute she came back. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.

"Anong problema mo?"

"Wala. Pero ikaw meron."

"Lalong napataas yung kilay ko. Binuksan nya yung pinto. Automatic na napadapo yung mga mata ko sa lalaking nakatayo sa likod ng pinto. I gasped. Yes. I agreed to talk to Josh. Yes. I agreed to at least give him a closure but No. I didn't, and I never expected it to be this soon!