What the heart wants

13. Am I falling?

Due to a certain blonde girl who couldn't think before talking, the next hour passed awkwardly. If the previous embarrassment was not enough, my stomach decided to add to my misery by letting out a loud growl.

He stopped the car in front of a pizza parlour and we entered in, sliding in a corner booth.

A waiter in his early twenties came towards us and passed me a flirtatious smile. I would have shot him a warning glare if Xavier hadn't been sitting in front of me.

"Which flavour for the lady?", He asked in a sweet, saccharine tone, leaning a bit too closer for my comfort.

"One small pepperoni pizza.", I muttered, feeling annoyed at his gesture.

"Anythi-"

"No thanks. Just two small pepperoni pizzas and two soft drinks.", Xavier said through clenched teeth, his voice dripping with annoyance and his eyes boring holes through the waiter's skull.

The waiter hurriedly rushed towards the counter and I heaved in relief.

"We still have 19 questions left.", I broke the silence prevailing between us.

He raised his eyebrow in a sarcastic manner and then finally said, "Ok, let's play."

"Favourite ice-cream flavour?

"Caramel crunch.", He said after a pause.

"Hey, it's my favorite too.", I flashed him a toothy grin.

"Any boyfriend or love interest?", He asked, his tone suddenly turned serious.

Why is he asking that?

"Nope.", I said, popping the p and he nodded in understanding.

"Who was that guy you aimed the coffee at?"

"Who? Oh he. Derek Archer. My rival from school days.", I grimaced at his mention. I had forgotten about him these days.

"Seems like the poor kid has a major crush on you.", He commented, propping his elbows on the table.

"Crush? You are delusional. He hates me with every fiber in his body.", I replied.

"Wanna bet?" He looked amused.

"Sure. Because the probability of Derek Archer having a crush on me is the same as the chance of me eating salad. Zero percent.", I reasoned but he just smirked in return.

"I am not lying. From our first day at highschool, he is pulling weird pranks on me. Always trying to torture me and get my attention. Even in college, he always calls me names and whenever a guy approaches me, he create some disturbance and.. Wait a minute."

Oh.

I remembered all the time he had tried to jeopardize my conversation with any other guy and how he was always trying to capture my attention.

"Crap, he has a crush on me.", I shouted, burying my face inside my hands.

A loud booming laughter erupted from somewhere in front of me and my eyes widened in surprise. The Xavier Davis was laughing wholeheartedly, clutching his stomach.

The sound of his carefree laugh created a warm sensation inside my chest, like the one when you take first sip of your hot chocolate, burying yourself under a cozy quilt in a freezing, winter night.

"You should have seen the look at your face. It looked like I just told you that you are dying in a month.", He said between his laughter.

"This is a big news. I have every right to panic.", I frowned and he just grinned in return.

Our pizza arrived soon and I attacked it, forgetting about the big revelation.

***

"Just one hour more. Then you'll be free from my torture.", I joked as I read the sign board showing the distance left for Red Rock town.

"I know, counting every last second.", He muttered under his breath.

"You will miss me.", I countered.

"I object, your honor.", He said in a professional way.

Letting out a whiny groan, I turned my face away from him. I heard him snicker behind my back.

"You didn't hear my next question.", He started after few minutes.

"Hey, it was my turn.", I told him.

"Ok, how did you meet Jessica?", I asked the question I was dying to ask.

"She was my childhood friend.", He responded, not meeting my gaze.

"Oh."

A sour amalgam of sadness and despair filled my heart and I suddenly felt like drowning. Drowning in my self-created pool of misery.

There was something bothering me. Deep down, I knew this was my newly discovered infatuation for Xavier.

Yes, it is just infatuation. Perfectly normal.

"My turn, who else is in your family?", the question troubled me more than it should, especially at a time like this when I'm vulnerable.

"Just Alex.", I whispered.

"Oh. I am sorry.", He must have felt the need to empathize with me. The poor, orphan kid. I nodded and turned my face to the outside.

"Do you want to share what happened?" He asked, stopping the car at my sudden mood-shift.

"No.", I muttered but when he didn't start the car, I started.

"It was my birthday. My father went out to buy cake for me. Mum said she would make chocolate cake at home but I wanted ice cream cake. They tried to reason with me but I didn't listen. At the end, he gave in.", A sad smile played on my lips as I recalled the night. Xavier's body was now facing me and his attention was converged on me.

"He never made it to the store. A truck crushed his car to bits. Because of me. I c- caused that accident.", I choked on my own words. I tried to breathe but my throat suddenly felt constricted as the image of my dad's blood stained body reappeared in front of my eyes.

I tried my best to keep my composure but the memory was too much to handle. My eyes began to moisture when the horrid scene came to life in front of my eyes.

Shards of glass piercing through his ivory skin, a large fragment lanced through his once green eye, turning it into a bloody mess.

"He d- died because of m- me.", I don't know why but I felt the need to tell him that.

"My mother l- left both of us afterwards and it was my f- fault. I was the r- reason for every bad thing that has happened t- to us.", I managed to say between hiccups.

Stepping out of the car, Xavier moved to my side and opened the door. On cue, I dashed towards an isolated corner. Tears blinded my vision even when I tried my best to prevent them from falling.

I felt his hand on my shoulder. Turning around, I found Xavier's face brimming with concern for me. Before I could rub my eyes dry, he engulfed me in a hug.

I tried to distance myself because I never let anyone see me crying but his grip was stronger. The more I tried to wiggle out of his hold, the more it tightened around me. I had always hid my emotional side so it felt strange.

In a good way.

Finally giving up, I snaked my arms around him and cried my eyes out. I let him witness my weakness, my vulnerability. I let him see the broken girl inside me. We didn't speak anything but at that moment, I felt a strong connection between us, a connection stronger then the need of words, a connection stronger than the need to express.

Am I falling for him?

The answer should be no, at any cost.

*************************

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