What the heart wants

24. I won't cry anymore

"Ok, so first of all, how many guests will be there?", Stefan asked, holding a notebook in one hand and a pen in other.

"Uh.. I guess 300.", Jessica said after doing the calculation in her mind.

"Color scheme?", Stefan asked next.

"Xav, would you like to decide the colors?", she turned to Xavier who was sitting on the couch beside her, lost in his thoughts.

"What?"

"I said would you like to choose the color scheme?"

"Um.. No.", he replied elliptically.

"Well then, why not you suggest something.", she asked, looking at me.

My eyes flicked to Xavier who was looking at me with his intense blue eyes.

"Blue.", I spoke involuntarily.

"Blue?"

"Yeah, blue with any other color. Not the normal boring blue, but the kind which will make your heart ache for more." , I suggested.

"We are still talking about decor, right?", Jessica asked, looking confused at my words.

"Uh.. Yeah. Obviously.", I breathed out.

"Not bad, Hazel. I pegged you as a pink lover.", Stefan teased from my side.

"And I pegged you as a gentleman. Guess, we don't get what we wish every time.", I retorted back and he just replied with a wink.

"Ok, so blue and white. What next?", Jessica took a sip of her coffee.

"Your turn, Hazel.", Stefan instructed.

"Flowers? ", I asked, opening my notebook.

"White Orchids. It's Xavier's favorite.", Jessica told me and I noted it down.

"What about aisle?", I asked next and she explained all the details she wants on the aisle.

"It's enough for now. We will talk about the catering later.", Stefan said and leaned back in the couch.

"Where are you guys planning to go for your honeymoon?", Stefan enquired.

"Well, I want to go to Istanbul. But it's upto Xavier. The place doesn't matter, what matters is that he should be with me.", she glanced at Xavier amorously which he returned with a weak smile.

My heart dipped down inside my chest at the image of Xavier spending his honeymoon with her, hugging kissing and making love. I lowered my face to the ground so nobody could see the lone tear rolling down my cheek.

"I have to do a phone call.", I said, plastering a fake smile on my face and rushed towards the outside.

I heard footsteps following me and I increased my pace. My steps faltered when I reached the wooden bench inside the lawn of the bungalow.

"Not now, Stefan. Leave me alone.", I yelled but the person didn't stop.

"Why can't you-", my words caught in my throat when I turned around and found Xavier standing in front of me.

"You?", I asked breathlessly.

"Hmm.", he took small steps towards me.

"I just... I thought..", his proximity was making my words jumble inside my mind.

Pulling his hand out, he gently cupped my chin and pulled my face upwards so I was looking right in his eyes.

"Xavier.", I gasped breathlessly.

He leaned down and placed his forehead over mine. Our breaths mingled together and our nose were touching.

"Don't waste your life for someone who is not worth it.", I heard him say softly.

Opening my eyes, I found his eyes filled with sorrow and regret.

"What are you saying?", I whispered.

"I am saying that don't lose yourself for someone who can never be yours. The Hazel I knew would never do that.", his voice was hushed, just like mine.

And before I could reply, he was gone. Gone out of my sight, gone out my life.

His words kept ringing in my mind the whole day. He was right. I was losing myself for someone I can never have. This was not me. I used to be a strong, witty and independent woman. What happened to me?

No, I can't let my feelings for a person define myself. I won't cry anymore. I won't feel depressed for a guy who will marry someone else in twenty days.

With that promise, I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes.

The next day will be my new beginning.

...

The next morning, I took a warm, relaxing bath and get dressed into a black sundress. Straightening my loose waves, I sauntered into the living room where Xavier and Stefan were sitting.

"Have some mercy on my fragile heart.", Stefan spoke in a flirtatious manner, earning a smile from me.

I dropped down on the space beside him. Xavier's attention diverted to me and I passed him an acknowledging smile and turned my attention back to my boss.

"So when are we going to start the work?", I asked excitedly.

Becoming a wedding planner was like a dream comes true. I won't let my first opportunity go in waste.

"Tomorrow, we will first have a meeting with the caterers. After that, we need to make samples for centre pieces and decor.", he explained and I nodded in understanding.

"But first, you will help me in choosing my wedding dress.", Jessica entered the room, holding a plate of chocolate chip cookies in her hands.

"Sure.", I chirped and picked up a cookie from the plate. My taste buds exploded in pleasure when I took the first bite.

"Wow.", I moaned slightly.

"You are a wonderful cook.", I commented.

"Thanks.", she mumbled.

"I can't cook even if my life is at stake.", I admitted honestly, remembering the times I tried to give Alex food poisoning with my food.

"Wow, your husband is going to be so lucky.", Stefan added sarcastically and my mind wavered to Xavier.

No. Don't you dare think about your imaginary wedding with him.

"Well, he will be ten times luckier than your wife, boss.", I spat, sticking my tongue out.

"Look at you two fighting like kids.", Jessica shook her head in pity and passed the cookie plate to Xavier.

Instead of picking up a cookie, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave a lingering kiss on her cheek. Her face reddened like a tomato and the cookie dropped out of her hand.

A muscle in my chest clenched tightly and I averted my eyes hurriedly.

I won't cry. I reminded myself and this time, remained true to my words.

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P. S: Should I write a chaptee in Xaviers POV?