What the heart wants

39. Right or wrong?

His words created a mayhem in my already chaotic mind. With every passing second, the lump in my throat got bigger and bigger. By the time he finished his story, I was looking at him with dropped jaw.

"Hazel?", he trailed off when he observed my reaction. "Say something."

"Y.. You are marrying her because it was the last wish of her deceased brother?", I asked and he nodded. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I had no idea what to say or how to feel about this.

"Do you love her?", I asked.

He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again.

"I do.", he said after a pause, his voice was unsure. "I mean I admire her for her strength and views. I like the fact that she always stands by me, no matter what. She has all the qualities a man would want in her wife. She is smart, independent, emotionally strong and kind. So yeah, I like her."

"I asked if you love her?", I enquired and he gaped at me with a blank face.

"That's wrong Xavier, so wrong.", I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.

"I mean what if she ever learn the reason behind this marriage. It will break her.", I whispered.

"Don't you think I know that?", he responded.

"You don't understand Xavier. You don't know what it means to be unwanted. Being a liability, it... it sucks.", I muttered, my voice dampening.

"You need to tell her before it's too late.", I added.

"It's already too late. The wedding is in less than 24 hours.", he groaned. "She is so excited about the wedding. I.. I can't do this to her."

I didn't say anything after that because some part of me knew he was right. Telling her the truth on the day of wedding, it would break her heart into million pieces.

"I understand.", I empathized. Giving him one last glance, I made my way towards the wooden door of his room.

I stopped for a minute and added, "You are a good person, Xavier. I wish you may find your happiness in this marriage."

He smiled half-heartedly and I felt a familiar tug in my heart.

...

After rolling on the bed with agitation the whole night, I finally slept at nearly 6 o' clock in the morning. The next day started with a knock on my door interrupting my already disturbed sleep. After stretching my arms, I walked towards the door and opened it, only to reveal Xavier standing at the other side.

"I have decided.", he spoke hurriedly. He looked tired as if he didn't sleep either.

"Huh?"

"I though about it the whole night. You were right, she deserves to know the truth.", he muttered.

"Are you sure?", I asked, unsure of what to feel.

"Hmm.", he nodded. "If after listening to me, she still decided to go with this wedding then I'll do it in a blink."

"Do what in a blink?", someone asked and we both looked at the source of this voice who happened to be Nathaniel.

"Nothing that should concern you.", Xavier retorted.

"You are marrying my cousin sister. It is my concern.", he responded, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Just shut the fuck up, Nathaniel. Don't mess with me today.", Xavier mirrored his intimidating gaze.

"Why? Are you having any second thoughts? Because if you are, I swear I'll claw your eyes out of these sockets.", Nathaniel warned.

"Really, I don't -"

"For God's sake, stop it guys.", I ordered. "Nathaniel, you come inside. And Xavier, go and talk to Jessica about that thing."

He nodded and left, leaving me alone with Nathaniel. Asking him to wait inside the room, I went into the bathroom to take a bath. After changing into an A-line frock, I walked out and found him sprawled lazily on the bed.

"I asked the cook to send your breakfast in your room. Everyone is busy preparing for the wedding so I thought you'd like to eat in peace.", he said as I dried my hair.

"Thanks.", I said, thinking about the wedding. How would Jesaica react when Xavier will tell her the truth?

The door knocked and a woman walked in, holding a tray in her hands. It consisted of two cups of steaming coffee and one chicken sandwich. I slouched down beside him and began filling my mouth with the sandwich. In the midst of all the issues, I forgot that I hadn't eaten anything solid for almost 24 hours.

After finishing the coffee, he excused himself saying he needed to meet the pastor. I made my way to Jessica's room to see whether he had talked to her yet.

When I reached the door, I pulled my hand out to knock but a voice coming from inside caused my hand to freeze in the air.

"It's ok, Gavin. I'll start the therapy once I talk to Xavier about this.", she was saying this to someone on the phone.

Therapy?

"No, you don't understand. It's my wedding for God's sake. I can't tell him yet.", she exasperated.

What is she talking about? What therapy?

After cutting the call, she opened the door and yelped when she found me outside.

"H.. Hazel?", she trailed off.

"Yeah. I came to check if you need any help.", I answered. Her face was swollen as if she had cried all night.

"Ohh.. Come on in. I can really use some help.", she smiled and moved aside so that I could walk in. She was about to close the door when Xavier appeared out of nowhere.

"Xavier, you can't come in. It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.", she whined, blocking his way to the inside.

"I need to talk to you about something.", he said, ignoring her concern. His eyes flicked to me but before I could do or say anything, he averted them back to Jessica.

"Sure.", she responded. "Speak."

"Umm.. Not here. Let's go outside.", he offered and she followed him out of the room.

I was about to walk out too when her phone started ringing. It was placed on the bed, the caller ID showed the name "Gavin". I contemplated whether to pick up the phone or not. It would be crossing my boundaries but what if Jessica was in some kind of problem. I needed to figure that out.

At last, I picked up the phone from the bed and answered the call, guilt was seeping through my mind. The person on the other side started without listening to my voice first.

"Hey Jess, I referred your case to Dr. Neil, he used to be our senior in med school. He looked at your reports.", he paused. "Jess, are you there?", he asked but I was too stunned to reply.

Case?

Reports?

"Jess?", he started again.

My throat felt clogged. After much effort, I cleared my throat and replied with a small "Yeah."

"Ok, so he suggested that you should start the chemotherapy as soon as possible. There is no time to waste at this stage of your leukemia.", he spoke in a low tone and a gasp escaped my lips.

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Anybody feeling bad for Jessica :(

Only two more chapters are left. :(