274 (Complex Series, #4)

Chapter Sixteen

I swallow hard, detached numbness spreading through my body.

I’m most likely going to disappear soon to…death? Someplace worse? I can’t imagine they’d send us someplace better.

Wherever I’m going, I won’t be ready. Although I’m sitting still, aches press against my body. If I have to fight anything off, I’ll have no chance of winning.

My thoughts flash back to what Tooth suggested could happen at your disappearance. A creature, who nobody sees until their own disappearance, simply absorbs you. Dissolving you into complete nothingness.

What if it is true or at least close to the truth? What if nothing of you remains, completely removed from existence? Have the Heads discovered an advanced enough technology to do so?

Leah tries to reassure me, “I’m sure you’ll be fine, though. Just show them that you’re strong enough to continue surviving.”

I nod, but I have no idea how I could accomplish that. I can’t continue surviving. I can’t walk, let alone find food and fight off the Things.

Lucy nods, “You can come with us. We’ll help you.”

I open my mouth to protest. I simply want to lie down and stay here. I may as well go through the least amount of pain I can in the time leading up to my disappearance. I may only be alive for a few more days, hours, minutes.

A thought crashes through my head. I’ve only known about four disappearances: Christina, Grace, The Distress, and Greg. All of them were taken at night, when the other person was asleep. Maybe you are only taken during the night, when other people can’t see you. Except there is no night. There’s no set time when everyone goes to sleep.

If I’m alone, I could disappear at any time.

But, if I’m with Leah and Lucy, I wouldn’t disappear until they are asleep. I could at least lengthen my life a couple more hours if I keep them awake.

I shut my mouth. I don’t want to protest their help. I need their help. Their simple presence might make a difference in the length of my life.

Do I have to be asleep too for my disappearance? How long can I last without sleeping? Exhaustion is already weighting down my eyelids. If it weren’t for Leah and Lucy, I would probably be asleep right now.

Leah frowns at me, “Can you walk?”

 “I can try…”

Leah holds out her hand, “I’ll help you up,”

I grip her hand with my own. Simply lifting my arm up sends a shoot of pain down my arm and into my shoulder. I wince but force more pain into my arm by pulling myself up to feet.

My head spins as I lean almost all my weight on to Leah. She holds me up without complaint. I mumble my thanks, trying to balance myself on my own two feet. My legs refuse to work with me, my knees crumpling. Lucy runs to my aid and pulls me back up. Leah and Lucy put their arms under my shoulders and hold me up.

I try to focus my spinning vision as Leah asks, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…I’m okay.” I say, my voice shaky.

A short, disbelieving laugh escapes Lucy, “Really? You’re okay? You don’t look very okay.”

I nod, trying to make my voice stronger, but it still wavers, “I’m completely okay.”

Leah’s voice becomes soft, “It’s okay to be not okay, you know.”

I press my lips together, her words sinking in. In the Complex, it’s not okay to be, well, not okay. You have to put on the flawless pretense that everything is perfection. You have to pretend that your life, your thoughts, your behavior, your feelings are completely faultless, completely okay.