The Ghost of Fiore

Not an Update, but important!

Sorry guys, I know I've been really bad at updating, and I don't foresee that changing, but know that I am working on chapters all the time; I'm not giving up, updates will just be slow...

Anyways, I wanted to let you know what's happening, and talk about something that's been on my mind, so bare with me. If you want to skip this, that's okay, hopefully I'll get more content out soon!

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I am currently writing a BNHA book behind the scenes, (why I think that that's a good idea with two other projects going on, I have no idea, but I guess I'm just crazy), and for it I've been researching how PTSD affects children and teenagers, which has been fascinating by the way.

Anyways, as I've researched, I've realized that some of the matters I've written about are nothing like how I, and many other writers, portray them. It's amazing how depressing this world can get the deeper you investigate it, it's rare to have traumatic crap happen to someone and have the only side effects be things that are easy to overcome with some love and support. No, when there is severe trauma, it can change how your brain functions, it can change everything!

Risa, for example, would probably have killed herself before the Hosts could have helped her up, Jessica easily could be a teenage alcoholic, seeking comfort in substance abuse in order to escape from her demons. Ember would definitely be addicted to something, seeking to numb the horror show that is her life, and even if she didn't fall into that trap, she would likely end up with some crippling mental illness.

Reality is so much darker than how we envision it to be, which is certainly the reason we put our protagonists into such horrific positions with such little ramification... Which isn't entirely bad.

I can't say that my life has been super traumatic, but even now I'd rather read than face my life. I hate myself most days, and while I know that a lot of the things I believe about me are blown out of proportion, I can't stop it.

Writing has been a major escape for me, a way for me to put the negativity inside of me into a story, and then work through it. I imagine it's the same for many other writers and let me tell you this; that's okay. I know that the world will push you to 'be productive', and to live in real world (Quick side note, those are good things to do, that should be what we are striving for), but if writing, reading, watching YouTube, playing video games, or really whatever is your escape helps you to feel okay, then do it! Work towards some sense of normalcy, but you need to be kind enough to yourself to do something that makes you happy.

When I went to Vidcon a few months ago, I met MatPat, who is my all-time favorite YouTuber. He was so kind, and he said something to me that I'll never forget, I can't remember the exact words, but the meaning will be with me forever. You are amazing, just for being yourself and you deserve the opportunity to be happy. I am honored to have helped you be happy for even the smallest amount of time.

Guys, MatPat is so right, we are amazing! I know it's hard to believe sometimes with how badly we tend to shame ourselves, but we are beautiful humans who are capable of creating so much good in our own way. The world will tell us that we are bad and wrong, but to hell with them; just for one minute try to look at the good within yourself before the bad.

I know this section is a hot mess, but thanks for reading it, and if you got to this point, comment something you like about yourself. It can be anything from a personality trait to the way you dress! I love you guys!