Binary Star

Chapter Eight: Loveless

Chapter Eight: Loveless

The next morning, I awoke to the sensation of being gently poked in the chest. I shifted a little, then peeled open my eyes. I broke into a fit of chills as a cold miasma filled the air around me. I rolled over and sat up. Jinnai called out to me. "Spica, you awake?" I nodded groggily as I turned to him. I was no longer lying on his soft, warm chest, since he was kneeling down by the bedside so his eye level was equal to mine. "What...is it?" I muttered, my throat dry and hoarse. Admittedly, I wasn't feeling as bad as I had yesterday, but my voice was still raspy, and my body remained comparatively weak.

"How are you feeling?" Jinnai asked. "Better," I mumbled. "I think my immune system is getting over the virus..." Jinnai leaned in closer and placed his thumb on my forehead. "Your fever's gone down quite a bit. You don't feel so hot anymore. Heh, good to hear it. Looks like you'll be okay, then." Jinnai headed away from me, put on his shoes, and slung on his track jacket, zipping it up to the collar. He swiped up his messenger bag. "It's pretty chilly out there today. You should probably stay here, I don't want you getting any sicker." I gazed at him longingly. "Where are you going? Do you have more lectures? Are you going out to get food?"

"I'm going back to the loft," Jinnai replied. "I gotta redo that painting in time for exams." As he jammed a slice of toast into his mouth and prepared to walk out the door, I stood up and said, "Wait, Jinnai. I want to come with you." He glanced over his shoulder. "But you can't be going out, you're still sick."

"Just take me to the art studio," I retorted. "Please, I want to watch you paint. I don't want to stay here, I want to be with you. Ever since what happened with Ayato Tsukiyami...I can't stand being apart from you anymore." Jinnai sighed and considered for a few moments. "Fine, if you insist. To be honest, it's actually a little flattering. No one's ever said...that they wanted to be with me before."

With a weak smile, he scooped me up and tucked me into his breast pocket. "Stay warm in there, okay?" I burrowed deeper into his pocket as he headed out from the stuffiness of the cramped dorm room and into the outside world.

At the art studio, I sat by the edge of Jinnai's canvas, watching him work his magic. He moved his paintbrush with gentle, graceful strokes, like how a magician might cast a spell. It seemed as though he was trying to recreate the original painting Chi had destroyed. He painted out part of a lush forest with a pond in the background, surrounded by swarms of individual butterflies.

"You really like butterflies, don't you?" I asked. "You always seem to love painting them."

The faint traces of a melancholic smile curled at the edges of Jinnai's lips. "I hate them." I blinked in confusion. What a strange turn of events. "But...why do you hate them? They're beautiful. If you hate butterflies, then why do you paint them all the time?"

Jinnai spoke in a completely different tone of voice. It was as if he were revealing his inner thoughts. "I hate that they're beautiful. They're always the ones being pursued and prized for their beauty. After all, no one wants to catch an ugly caterpillar. I hate the fact that they're so easily trapped. How they end up as specimens with pins stuck through their bodies...it's awful. Even if you touch their wings, they will no longer be able to fly, and they can be crushed with just a small amount of pressure. They're beautiful, yet frail and fragile...a bit like life, really."

I stared at him, mystified. "Well, that isn't the butterfly's fault. If people appreciate their beauty so much, then perhaps humans shouldn't capture them and stick pins through their abdomens. But this isn't just about butterflies, is it? I can hear it in your voice. You're not making sense. Did something happen? Is this about me?"