dear Em

July 28

July 28

dear,

These are the things.

The things we lost.

The things we lost in the

fire.fire.fire.

Do you understand that we will never be the same again?

The future's in our hands and we will never be the same again.

there is nothing. nothing left in this world. it burned. the whole everything. pictures

memories

clothes

anything, anything could have gone. but of all the things.

it was the letters mostly where the fire had started. blazing.

i'm not sure i can do it anymore. everyone. gone. my things. gone. family. gone. friends. gone.

you.

gone.

letters.

gone.

where do i go. i've only called my mom but it's too far. why do i think writing down these awful thoughts is going to help? because it isn't, not with you gone. i could blame this whole mess one you. but it doesn't work that way..

you know? where one person can just easily slip their problems away by blaming someone else. at least that's what you did, wasn't it? now i think of how much a terrible friend you were. if you came i really don't know what i would do, or frankly what i would say..

what would you say?

everything has gone wrong. and no matter how terrible you are. or.were for that matter. I think the only solution is you.

just you. seeing your face and if you are okay. if you've been going through all the same hell as me.

the truth is, you are the one part of me that i need. that i actually need. and Em, the truth is i hate you for leaving and not trying to come back. i think maybe you forgot about me and just got caught up in your own stupid life that little me. didn't even matter.

i don't matter to anyone anymore.

you don't matter to me anymore

i blame you