Delicate

You Should Know Where I'm Coming From (BANKS)

Juliet's POV

"Kelly," I pleaded. "Tell me that you're not breaking up with me." I didn't know what had changed but all of a sudden Kelly was acting weird, avoiding my gaze and not answering my question. Why wouldn't she just answer my question? There was no reason to break up! We were getting better! Why wouldn't she answer the damn question?

She didn't look me in the eye, and I wanted to cry. I could already feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

Getting up from the bed, Kelly turned to me, her eyes still fixed on the floor. "Maybe we should," she mumbled those words, but they still felt like daggers being thrown at my heart.

"What the fuck, Kelly?" I partly asked, partly cried. "Why are you bringing this up?"

"I think that I should leave now," Kelly picked up her phone and typed some words while I stared at her in disbelief. "I just called an uber."

She began to pack up her things so I jumped off the bed and ran to her, grabbing her wrist and never wanting to let go. "Kelly, why are you doing this?" The tears were full on falling down my cheeks now, big fat droplets. "This isn't funny."

Kelly paused her packing for a second before resuming like the question I had asked wasn't nearly as important. "Look, Juliet, I think we both know that I can't give you the things you want. You want a family and an average domestic lesbian life. I just can't do that for you. I'm no enough for you."

"No, no. You are enough for me. You are enough for me, babe." I was pleading at this point.

"You're lying to yourself, Juliet. I'm only going to end up breaking your heart, and I don't want to break your heart into a million pieces. It's better we end this now before it gets too serious." Her voice was stern, unwavering.

In my head, I was begging her to display some kind of emotion, even just a little bit. Why couldn't she shed a single tear, show at least some kind of sorrow or remorse over what she was doing.

"But it was going so well!" My voice was shaky, tears streaming down my cheeks. "Just this morning, you held me and it was all good. Why are you doing this?"

She zipped up her suitcase and lifted it to place it on the floor right side up. "I've been thinking about this for a while now, Jules. Seeing the way you are with your family... I don't know... it just did something to me. I don't want to keep messing around with you. You deserve more. Now, I'm going to go outside and wait for the uber."

She left the room with that and I quickly put on a t-shirt and joggers and chased after her, still not satisfied with her reasoning. I was actually so confused as to why she was breaking up with me. I was also incredibly sad about it. This was a woman that I loved, leaving me, turning her back on our entire relationship.

Her uber hadn't arrived yet so she waited on the front steps, trying to look away from me.

"Kelly!" I demanded for an answer. She was going to answer my questions. If she was going to leave me like this, she would need to tell me a legitimate reason why. I was not going to take her 'It's over' as a fact. It wasn't over until we both agreed on it. She couldn't just break up with me. "Please, Kelly." Tears were rushing down my face like a waterfall; I could taste the salt in my mouth.

"I told you this from the beginning! I don't do relationships! We already got too close!" She was shouting now, too, exasperated. Her outer expressions screamed annoyed and agitated, but that couldn't be all that she was feeling right? She had to care about me. She had to want to be with me, at least a little bit.

I tried to wrap my arms around, engulfing her in the kind of hug that she always enjoyed, but she pushed me away. "But I thought you cared for me! Why are you doing this to me?" By then, I was sobbing. I felt such a horrible and conflicting mix of emotions. I felt rejected and heartbroken and sad and angry and confused and disappointed and surprised all at the same time.

"I don't want to be too involved with anyone romantically."

"Why?" I demanded, staring at her to make her look me in the face.

She stared into my eyes for a few seconds, trying to figure out what to say. Her lips were quivering and her hands were bawled up into fists. She was reaching her breaking point. She was going to explode. But I didn't care about that. Any emotion would be better than having no emotion.

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, JULIET!" she yelled, some tears forming in her eyes. "You don't understand anything at all!"

"Then make me understand!" I yelled back, all the hurt and pain that she had caused me bubbling up inside of me. "Tell me something about yourself, for once in your life!"

That challenge pushed her over the edge. Her face grew red and a vein was popping out from her neck. "You don't understand it, Juliet! You don't understand what it's like to go through a relationship where you give it your all, but that's not enough. When she proposes to you and you think it's going so well. You're going to get married and have lots of kids. Your life will be perfect. But then what does she do? She fucks some other girl! And not just once, no! No, it's been going on for two whole years! TWO YEARS! You don't understand what it's like, Juliet. She broke me! I tried to kill myself, Juliet! That's what happens when relationships get too serious! Someone always ends up bleeding out on the floor! The pain is too much. You don't understand, Juliet."

That shut me up. My tears had ceased rolling down my cheeks and I just stared at her in a sorrowful awe. This was the first time she opened up to me. This was the first time she revealed anything too personal about her past. I marvelled at that in my mind, but I also thought about how this new information completely changed what I had previously thought about her. She had been my girlfriend. I had known every inch of her beautiful body, but I didn't know her. And now I did, and I wasn't too sure about what I thought about it.

"Kelly," I whispered softly.

Kelly was crying now. She was trying to wipe the tears off her cheeks, trying to give off the appearance that she wasn't crying or affected by what was happening. But for the first time, I was seeing through her facade.

"Oh, Kelly, I would never hurt you like that," I hugged her and she relented. I felt her whole body slump in my arms, as if she was finally feeling less stressed. "I love you so much, more than I have loved anybody else. I will never hurt you. I only want to make you happy."

She cried into my shoulder for a while, not responding. I kissed the top of her head, feeling that the worst of this was over. We weren't broken up after all. That argument was just our breakthrough. It was all going to be okay.

A few minutes later, a navy blue SUV pulled up to the driveway: her uber. I planned on going up and paying for it, but then cancelling the trip, but Kelly surprised me.

"That's my uber."

"I know, it's okay. I can get rid of him."

"No, I'm leaving now," she pushed me away once again leaving me in a state of deeper confusion. She grabbed her suitcase and made her way to the SUV; the driver got out to help her put it into the trunk.

My mouth gaped open. Why was she still leaving? The tears began to form once more as the thought that we actually might be done forever entered into my mind. This might be the last time that I will ever see her again.

"Kelly!" I called once more, the desperation present in my voice. "Please don't go." The last three words came out as a pathetic croak.

Kelly turned to look at me, hearing her name being called. But she got into the backseat and gave me only as much as a second glance and an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Jules."

The SUV pulled away and I watched as it drove away until I couldn't see it anymore. And there she goes. The love of my life. The only woman meant for me. My soul mate. There she went. Into the unknown. There she went. Out of my life forever.