The Sea & The Storm

eight*

The rest of that night Master Aidan watched me with a guarded expression. It was blank, like it always was, but this time it was fixed on me. Every time I peered up, he was there, quick to look away and quick to distance himself.

It made me uneasy at first, wondering what on earth he could be thinking. Perhaps he thought I was completely out of line in being here, at the same table as his class of people. I thought he might be embarrassed that I was here with the audacity to parade around, masquerading as something I wasn't. I looked after his household, but I was hardly the lady of the house.

But it wasn't that.

People approached me, naturally. Some were curious, others were simply there to flaunt their wealth and class and to stare at me like an animal on display. That's how I felt anyways, that I was the entertainment. But some came with a genuine interest to know me. Prudence stayed by my side for the most part. She was something of a friend after so many months, but the rest of the time, it was Aidan that was quick to swoop in, garnering the attention of the room. They whispered horrid things about us before, without even having seen me, but now it seemed as though they saw me in a different light. I felt vulnerable under their pressing gazes, but some began appraising me like I was a part of them. A part of the Gerrard clan. It simultaneously frightened me and made me feel some relief.

We danced, not more than once as to be proper, but we had danced first. I wasn't sure if it had meant anything. Oliver was animated the rest of the night, as usual, but Prudence had hinted that it might have been more than that by the looks of it.

I wasn't quite sure anymore.

When we retired home, I breathed a sigh, looking up into the crystalline night sky. The air was colder, but in a way that had grown to be refreshing and Aidan led the horse in a calm trot along the rode. It felt comfortable, the silence.

"You don't think they were ashamed to have me there, do you?" I asked honestly. I wasn't abashed by the thought. It genuinely frightened me, that they could be insulted by my presence.

Master Aidan made a noise between a grunt and a chuckle, poking fun at me in amusement.

"What?"

"It's only that you worry so much what they think-"

"Well, you might not have to give a damn...but that's all I have to live for really." It weighed upon me, that realization. That if these people didn't care for me the way in which Sarah and I hoped, I would be left with nothing.

He sighed, tugging the reins sharply. Without another word, he jumped down, sinking into the dirt path just a little. In the darkness, I could hardly make out his figure, but I found his outline looking at me expectantly. His hand outstretched for me to follow and I hesitated.

"What for?"

He clicked his tongue at me impatiently. "You have yet to trust me, Natalie Braye...Come along."

I took his hand, his palm warm and callous beneath mine, and slipped off the mare's side.

We walked along the road together, side by side as Aidan pulled the horse. The countryside was truly something beautiful, especially in the night.

"I grew up walking this path. When my mother passed, I used to come here every day and help out. Sarah was too young and my father was too drunk half the time to listen to me, but coming here was like an escape. I had brothers, for one, and my aunts treated me as if I were their own son. I almost wished this life over my own."