white lips, pale face; n.s.

→ seven | pose for the camera

eleanor rose brooks

i woke up that saturday morning, a few days after the park, with the urge to do it. to break up with finn. maybe it was because of how my heart started to race when i was around noah. i closed the curtains on my windows and put my clothes on. i looked at myself in the mirror. "you can do this." i said to myself. i texted noah my plans. someday this week, i had added a heart to his contact name, not that he needs to know. i grabbed my jacket and put on my shoes. "going out early?" my mother asked. "yeah, i'm meeting finn." i said. she gave me a kiss on my head and said goodbye. once i left the apartment, a text from finn popped on my screen. he told me to come over. was this fate? on my way, i grabbed a cup of hot chocolate. i rang the door bell to his apartment and he opened the door right away, letting me in. "we need to talk." he said taking the words out of my mouth before i could say them, we sat down at a table. "so..." i said trying to start the process. "can you explain this picture to me?" he said handing his phone to me. it was a picture of noah and i yesterday, walking in the park. "who is that?" he said firmly. "that's my new friend from school." i said blankly staring at him. "stop lying, i know you're cheating on me." finn said beginning to get angry and flushed. "i am not cheating on you, finn. stop it." i said keeping my cool. "tell me the truth. are you cheating on me?" he said angrily. i stood up and tried to leave. "tell me!" he said grabbing onto my wrist firmly. so firmly that it hurt. "do not fuck with me eleanor! i swear to god, tell me or i will ruin you." he yelled. he pushed me against the wall harshly. "i'm not cheating on you." i said about to cry. "get out." he said dragging me to the door than pushing me out of it. tears fell rapidly from my eyes as i left the building. my face was completely red and stranger were staring at me. my eyelashes were sticking together because they were wet with tears. one lady ushered her young daughter away from me. i wasn't sorry. i passed a bakery stand where lots of people were congregating. i got a few meters past it when i heard my name being called. "eleanor!" i heard again. i turned around to see noah a few meters away from me. i faced him and said nothing but let more tears run down my face. he looked startled. "oh no." he said as he saw the tears. he jogged up to me and hugged me. "let's get you home." he said putting his arm around me while we walked. i showed him where i lived. he brought me up to my apartment and into my room. i sat on my bed and took my coat off. i looked down at the ground while he stood in front of me. "would you like some water?" he asked quietly as he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. i nodded as i sniffled. once my door closed and he left to get me a glass of water, i let out loud cries. i wiped my tears with my hand but they only kept coming. he came back with glass and his eyes widened a little bit. "eleanor." he said putting the glass down on one of my side tables. "sorry." i said crying harder. he sat down next to me and hugged me. he rubbed my back with his hand. "do you want to talk about it?" i heard him say. i said nothing back. "it's okay, we don't have too." he said laying his head on mine. "he said i cheated on him and then..." i said letting out a little cry. "what happened?" noah asked softly. "he pushed me." i said raising my wrist to show noah the mark that finn has left when he grasped my wrist. "i'm so sorry." noah said gently grabbing onto the hand with the mark.