white lips, pale face; n.s.

→ three | the beginning

eleanor rose brooks

somehow i ended up in finn's bed that night, in his arms, rather than being in my bed. i stared at the ceiling with regret as i laid still. if i was happy being with him i would want every moment to be like this, him, peaceful. i sat up and scooted from his arms. i sat in the edge of the end of the bed looking out the large window of his penthouse apartment. light powdery snow covered the trees of central park, which was his view. it covered the sidewalks, the buildings. oh how beautiful it looked. i heard his blankets ruffle. "good morning, baby." he said groggily. finn climbed over and put his arms around me. he then kissed my cheek. the sweet moments i don't mind. he placed his head in the nook of my neck and looked at the view with me. finn's phone buzzed two times, he scurried to his phone. it was a girl. i know how he acts. i looked at him as if i was asking who it was. "it was just my manager, we have a show here coming up soon." he told me as he climbed back over. his face was tinted pink now. i looked out the window again, not facing him. "you realize i do know what you're doing, right?" i said blankly. "what am i doing?" finn rudely responded. i could feel my blood rushing throughout my body, i was angry. "you're talking to another girl! you know damn well that, that wasn't your manager. would he really text you at four a.m.? he lives in goddamn california!" i angrily said. i tried keeping the same tone i had before but i just couldn't, this has gone too far. "eleanor, you are actually insane? why would i do that?" he yelled at me. tears began to prick at my eyes. "yes you would! you've done it before! or did you block that out of your head like everything else? you only care about you stupid band." i said practically yelling back. "bullshit, eleanor, bullshit! i care about you more than anything." he yelled. i shook my head with annoyance. "yeah, you care about me so much that all you do is mess with my feelings and mess with other girls behind my back." i said. the pink that filled his cheeks drained. he usually turned pale when we fought. he said nothing back. his breathing was rapid. i shook my head. "just let me get dressed and i'll leave." i said storming off angrily and grabbing my clothes. i was in one of his big t-shirts that he lent me last night. i was only in a bra and my leggings when he busted through the bathroom door. he pushed me against the bathroom wall and held me there. tears began to pour out of my eyes. "i wish i never met you in london that night. and even if there was another girl on the the other end of the phone, she'd be a hell of a lot better than you." he yelled in my face. i pulled my shirt on quick as more tears built up in my eyes, to the point where it blurred my vision. "you're the only bad thing in this relationship." i said crying. he was silent, like he realized what he had done. "please don't cry, i'm sorry, i didn't mean it." he begged frantically. "you wish you didn't." i said blankly as i put my black doc martens and my trench coat on. i wanted to accept his apology, but i knew i shouldn't of. you love him i thought to myself knowing that i'd come running back if he asked me to come over. i exited the apartment and walked down the long hallway to the elevator. my first instinct was to go to the park since if i went home, i'd be bombarded with questions. why were you crying? my eyes were puffy and my cheeks, red. i walked across the street into the park and walked the paths looking at the beautiful scenery. the paths were slippery with ice in some spots. it rained a few days ago than everything froze over. as i avoided one, a small little boy slipped and fell. he began to cry as children usually do when they get hurt. as i neared the mall or the main part of the park, a boy who looked my age was coming my way, going to pass me. i kept my head down just incase i still looked like i was crying. i focused so much on him no seeing my face that i slipped. i gasped as i fell backwards. i heard him turn. i fell back into his arms, he caught me. i regained my footing as i held onto him. "are you okay?" he asked me. "i'm quite alright, random boy in the park. thanks." i said slightly giggling. he smiled. oh, what a gorgeous smile he had. "i'm glad. but i do have a name, random girl in the park." he said jokingly. "what is it then?" i asked, dying to know. "noah." he said. "eleanor." i told him "it was nice to meet you noah!" i waved at him as i began to walk away. i walked for a few steps than looked back, coincidentally, he was looking back at me.