a princess, not a prince • mtf jin

오

"I think you have some explaining to do," yoongi said.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

yoongi pov

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

I could see the colour rush out of there face. tae played with his fingers while jin looked down at his lap. I could tell both of them were nervous, they were afraid that I would reject them.

I slowly walked over to the bed, crouching down in front of them. they both looked away from me, but I took there hands in mine. "You guys can't really hide this from me, I already heard everything," i said.

"I accept you guys for who you are, this doesn't make me look at you two any differently. You are who you are and no one can change that. You guys accepted the fact I'm bisexual, so why shouldn't I expect that fact that your trans?" I said. At this point they were now looking at me, no longer fearing a negative reaction.

"you guys should tell the others, they deserve to know," I said, knowing they wouldn't really like the idea.

tae shook his head violently. "t-they'll hate us," he said, his voice cracking slightly. I could see the tears forming in his eyes. I turned my attention to him. his teary eyes met mine. "they could never hate you too, they love you too much," I chuckled.

i knew tae was hesitant in believing me, but it was true. bts was like one, big, happy family, nothing could break them, especially not something like this.

I wiped away the tears that escaped with my thumb. he leaned into my touch and I could see the slight sadness in his face when I pulled away.

at that moment in time, namjoon bursted into the room, ruining the moment that jin was enjoying watching from afar. "Hey guys, dinner is her-". he stopped his sentence as he saw the scene in front of him. taehyungs cheeks were stained from tears while yoongi sat extremely close to him, a little too close, and jin sat there all giddy looking as if she had just watched the twilight or something like that.

"he knows," is all the jin said. namjoon made a small 'o' shape with his mouth, but not actually saying anything as he left the room. soon after he left, we followed in silence.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

jin pov

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

we all sat at the table, devouring the food in front of us. we made small talk during dinner, usually done by jungkook.

towards the end of the meal, when I was just about to finish up, I heard namjoon speak, saying something that he wasn't meant to say.

"hey jin noona, can you pass the me the sauce," he asked causally. after he realise what he said, he violently slapped his hand over his mouth, hanging his head to avoid looking at me.

the table went silent, nobody spoke, they all just looked back and forth between namjoon and I. "why did namjoon call you noona?" jungkook asked. I started to panic, trying to think of an excuse that was believable.

"umm.. it's just an inside joke," I said quickly, hoping I didn't sound too obvious. I heard a scoff from jungkook, I could see anger building in his face. "Bullshit!" he spat," you expect me to believe that?! I know you all are hiding something from us and I suggest you tell us!"

I saw taehyung fidgeting with his fingers as he looked down into his lap, but yoongi put his hand on his thigh in a reassuring way with calmed him down.

to stop myself from fangirling at the sight, i looked over to namjoon. he whispered a small 'I'm sorry' to me. I could see he was upset with himself, upset that he had just exposed my secret to them. I'm not even really mad at him, it was an accident. in fact, I liked that he called me noona unconsciously, I guess it means he's getting used to me being trans.

I cleared my throat, knowing no one else is going to speak and jungkook is definitely not going to drop it. " w-well, umm.. im trans?" I said, but it sounded like a question. jungkook, jimin and hoseok looked at me in shock, "WHAT?!" jungkook shouted, the others were to shocked to speak. I started to become nervous, I could see something in jungkook's eyes that I didn't see in the others when we told them. Disgust.

"w-well, umm i'm trans, m-male to female," I said quietly. jungkook scowled, "jin-hung, why? you're a guy, not a girl. why would you think of something like that, its weird as fuck," he shouted. I hung my head now, not wanting to see him staring at me with those hate-filled eyes. taehyung slammed his hands down on the table as he stood up. "how fucking dare you?!" he cried. "what?! are you really standing up for this freak?!" he shouted back. I could see tears running down taehyung's face. "w-well if he's a freak, then I'm a freak too!" tae shouted as he ran out of the room and into his, slamming the door behind him. jungkook looked shocked. "so wait, he's a tranny too?" he asked, disgusted that his best friend was biologically female. and thats when it hit me. I could smell the strong stench of alcohol coming from his mouth as he breathed, and I knew the others could to.

yoongi grabbed jungkook, pulling him by the arm away from the table. "I want you to stay in your room, and when you aren't drunk, you can come out," he said in a stern tone. jungkook just rolled his eyes, stumbling slightly as he walked to his room. thats when I broke. tears started to run down my face. to think that jungkook, someone I cared so much about and someone I know looks up to me, thinks i'm a freak. thinks i'm disgusting.

"hey jin hyun- umm... noona?" said jimin. I looked up at him, surprised he had quickly gotten into the whole calling me noona thing. "I don't really know to much about being transgender, but I still accept you. this is who you are, and there is nothing that anyone or anything can do to change that," he said, looking at me with sweet, reassuring eyes. "why didn't tell us sooner?" asked hobi, he didn't look. disgusted by this. "w-well I was afraid of a bad reaction, like jungkooks," I whispered the last part, still loud enough for them to hear. namjoon sighed, "I have a feeling he doesn't think that. although being drunk is no excuse for what he just did, maybe his reaction and being drunk mixed together and made it negative," he said.

we sat in silence for a few minutes, until yoongi spoke up. "i'm going to go check on taehyung," is all he said as he left the table. soon after that, jimin and hoseok left go to bed, leaving joonie and I together. "jin-noona," he said, "I'm so so so so fucking sorry, I didn't mean to say it, I swear it was an accident." I gave namjoon a small smile, finding it cute how he reacted, "it's okay joonie, they were going to find out eventually."

he nodded in response, standing up from the table and letting out a small yawn. "i'm going to go to bed now, night," he said as he walked out of the room. "goodnight," I said quietly. I sat at the table in silence, staring off into space, thinking about the events that have occurred over the past few days. to go from no one knowing my secret to having the whole dorm know over a series of overly dramatic events that you probably only ever see in some reality tv show.

things are definitely going to be different from now on.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

16.09.18