Suicidal Love

Chapter 4

Sam's POV

-Whole chapter-

"I love you too Sam." William's voice echoes in my mind as I drift off into dreamland for the night, dreaming of what could be the future of me and William.

-Next Morning-

     "Hey, Wake up Sam." Ugh, What time is it.. "Morning." I mutter under my breath, I've never been a morning person. But where am I?

     "Where? Where am I?" "My house. It's William remember?" William... Memories of yesterday evening come to my mind and my face turns bright red "A-Ah r-right.." "Are you okay?" William says in a worried tone. "Yes of course, Why?" "You just seem, i don't know.. Embarrassed?" William says that noticing my emmbaressed expression. "O-Oh... I'm r-remebering yesterdays e-events... I'm so sorry for doing that! That was not okay of me."

     "Don't worry Sam. We both liked it." William says reassuringly. I blush at the thought. Ugh, Why have I fallen for this boy. We haven't known each other that long and we have already kissed. I realize I got lost in my thoughts and Nod quickly to assure him that he's right.

     William smiles at me and I smile back. I've never felt so, What is this. Happiness? "We should get ready for school." William says looking at the time. Fuck. Its a school day.

     "Ugh okay. Do you want to shower first?" "Together? Or separately?" William asks curiously. "Separately if you don't mind.." I say worried that he would hate me. "Why would I mind? But I'll shower first." William gets up and leaves for his bathroom.

     I guess I should get up. I get up and realize I didn't bring clothes. "Fuck." I say outloud. Welp. Guess I should go home for clothes... "Ughhh. William I need to go home to get clothes."

     "Noo! Don't leave!" William yells from the bathroom. Damn. I'm glad he didn't want me to leave. Hmm... I think I'll have time to cut while he showers. I grab my backpack and grab a knife and unwrap my arms. I bite my lip hopeing that William doesn't finish by the time i finish.

     I cut my wrists deep enough to bleed but not deep to kill me. Blood pulses out of my wrists staining my arm with the red crimson color. I make a small noise loving the feeling of the pain. Isn't blood a gorgeous crimson? I realize i don't hear water running. Shit. I wrap my wrists and throw my knife in my backpack right as William walks in.

     "Hey, What have you been doing?" William asks a little hint of concern in his voice. "Nothing. I realized i didn't bring any clothes.." "Oh! You can borrow some of mine." I blush. Thinking of wearing his clothes, smelling his beautiful scent.

     "T-Thanks.." "Hey, didn't i wrap your arms fully?" Shit. "O-Oh, N-No uh, Just the wrists.." William frowns "Your lying to me.. I know i wrapped both arms fully. So why are only your wrists wrapped?" William asked worried. I sigh.

     I unwrap my wrists and instantly William is next to me holding my arms. I love his soft touch.. "Why Sam..." William asks sadly. "You hate me don't you..." I say as I tear up. "No! I'm so sorry I made you sad! I could never hate you! I love you, I'm just worried about you.." William says sadly.

     "I-I'm so sorry... I just... I just wanted to feel alive." I bite my lip expecting a slap. It never came. "Sam... You don't need to hurt yourself to feel alive... I'm going to make you feel loved and make you happy. I love you Sam.. Go shower then I will give you some ripped black jeans and a Panic! At the Disco! T-shirt." I nod and hug him. He smells good and he's so warm. I never want to let go.