LUST

11

The morning sun shined over my eyelids as I fluttered my eyes open. I tiredly opened my eyes half way to see a white ceiling. My eyes scanned the room and my mind came to think that I've seen this dull room before. It was his room. why am I in his room? I came to notice that his bedroom was all messy and it looked as if someone trashed his room. I frowned as I spot a broken vase next to his mirror, his clothes were all over and he had his undergarments everywhere. 

I slowly sat up with my hand over my temple. Then I realized, I was so focused on the room that I didn't notice his frame sleeping peacefully quiet next to me. His arm was limp around my waist as his hair fell on my shoulder. My brows frowned deeper as I wonder how I got into this-

" I should've known." He repeated breathlessly as his arms started to tremble. 

My tears flowed down my cheeks as the new feeling flood over me slowly drowning me. It was hard to breath and hard to see. My throat slowly started to close on me as I  struggled to breath. 

" h-how-" 

" Jimin told me." he said cupping my cheeks as he looks into my eyes. 

"he told me because I asked. Don't blame him." he whispered with his forehead against temple. 

"b-but y-you-" 

" i'm sorry ." he sighed as his own tears dropped rapidly. 

My eyes widen in shock as my own heart betrayed my mind. I was screaming, dying and slowly killing myself.  He knows, but why am I not relieved? why am I mad? This feeling deep inside me was swallowing me in and consuming me entirely. 

" d-don't touch me.." I  tried to back away from him. 

"No." his grip tighten. 

"how...." I shook my head as hot tears flowed down my pink cheeks. 

Once my teary eyes met his, he shook his head and cupped my cheeks. 

"I-" 

" You knew and.... yet you made me lose my sanity." I say in disbelief looking at his arms around my shoulders. 

My empty eyes surrounded by tears made its way up his arms and eventually landed on his doe eyes... my body had no energy to fight.....I already lost my fight and it was with me.

" You knew and yet you made me lose myself!" I shout at him catching him off guard. 

His eyes widen as his lips parted. 

"I hate myself because of you!" I cried out loud. 

" no... NO!" he screamed back and grabbed my shoulders harshly making me look intensively into his eyes.

His eyes screamed fire as he caressed my head. 

"You need to love yourself..." he spoke in such a broken voice. 

" I know. I caused the pain, but listen..." he trailed off as he cup my cheeks again. 

" You need to be strong. I won't do it again, I promise-" 

" Don't!" I pushed his chest harshly and it took him by surprise as he released me  by stumbling back. 

"Get away from me!" I cried as I backed away from him. 

He shook his head and reached out his hand to me again.

"NO!" I screamed covering my ears.