Over My Dead Body

Prologue

You, Sam, and Dean all went hunting together all the time. The guys knew how you felt or that something is wrong just by looking at your facial expressions and you had always wondered how. You had lost everyone and everything close to you, the boys knew that and they knew it made you sensitive so they didn't talk about things like that. Everything was doing good and everyone was doing okay until one day... Dean almost died on a hunt because you got yourself caught and he just had to save you. You knew you had feelings for Dean, feelings that you thought he most likely could return. You didn't care if he couldn't return them because in the moment that's not what you thought about. You had always dealt with depression and anxiety and you always beat yourself up over the littlest things, but this, this wasn't a little thing. you knew it was your fault Dean was hurt and you beat yourself up for it everyday since then but after that day you climbed back into your old habits, bad ones. You knew if Sam or Dean found out they would see you as weak and kick you out. So you held on to your little secret for as long as you could. little did you know your life was about to go so far down hill that you might not even be able to climb back up.