Dear Homophobes: From the Girl You Hate

...

I'm seventeen years old and live in small town Saskatchewan. All my life, I've been surrounded by racism and homophobia. Therefore, I'm both lucky and unlucky to have turned out the way I did.

I grew up hearing many different slurs, coming out of the mouths of the people I once looked up to. The word 'faggot' came up regularly in conversations. I quickly learned what that word meant and quickly learned that it was definitely not a good thing.

I began to hate myself for who I was. I basically stopped eating. I slept just about constantly. And I never told anyone the things I was thinking. I thought of myself as an abomination. As something that didn't deserve to live. I tried to cut the gay out of my own skin, resulting in scars covering my body. I forced myself into a relationship with a boy; telling myself I'd be able to stick it out, that eventually it would cure me. I hid myself from everyone I knew. I denied myself the truth. Except part of me knew. And that part of me was determined to win.