Shards of Clear Glass (A Ghost Adventures Story)

My Soul

Zak doesn't ask any questions as I take my seat beside him. He simply wraps an arm over my shoulders and squeezes my hand.

I look over at him and smile. He smiles back, and presses a quick kiss to my lips, smiling even wider. I laugh and roll my eyes at him.

Then, I hear one of my favorite songs come on. I look over at Billy, who's the DJ, and smile. He smiles back and waves.

"Whatever it Takes", by Imagine Dragons. Zak starts laughing as I sing and rap along with it, hitting every word on the dot.

Then, I notice something after the song ends that chills my blood.

Four people are staring at me from the trees. Two women, two men. I know them. Though I wish I didn't.

I grip Zak's hand, and he looks at me. He apparently reads the expression on my face, as he says,"Go, Saira. I'll cover for you.

I turn to smile at him, and say,"This is why you are the vest husband ever." Zak smirks, and releases my hand as I stand.

No one looks at me as I make my way across the field towards the four people. As I get closer, I see that they look alive and full of light. It pains my heart to see them like this.

I walk right around them into the trees, walking towards the river. I sense them follow me soundlessly. None of them speak, and part of me is hoping they never will.

I pause by the roaring torrent of water, just shy of getting the spray on my dress. I fold my scarred arms across my chest, and stare down into the murky water.

"Saira. We came to congradulate you." I flinch at my mother's voice.

"I'm so sorry." The words surprise me, as does the huge hole that has reopened in my chest just at the sight of my family.

"Why, Sare? It was our times to die. Why are you sorry about that?" I start crying as Carson speaks. I can feel the memory of his arms around me after I had a nightmare. It's tearing me apart, this huge secret that I've carried for years, and have even hidden from myself.

I don't turn to face my family; if I see their faces, then I know I'll break into a million shards of glass.

My words choke me as they rise from my throat. But I force them out. They need to see the light.

"I murdered you all. I set the fire that burned down our house. I set it. I knew the demons would come and protect me. I knew that all of you would die. But I just so wanted to leave the land of the living. I needed an assurance that I could die and not bring grief onto anyone.

"I set the fire after everyone else was asleep. I went into the kitchen and turned on the stove. I put a burning match on the counter next to it.

"I went up to bed. I fell asleep. I woke up. I pretended to myself that everything was normal. That everything was alright. That after this, I would die.

"It's been killing me ever since. I've hidden the truth, even from myself. I murdered you. I've murdered so many people.

"There's no way I'll go to Heaven. I'm destined for Hell. I have been since the day I was born. I wasn't even supposed to survive birth!

"All I've ever wanted to do since the day I saw Mary die was to fade away. But I couldn't do that with you still alive. So you had to go. You all could go to Heaven. I would rot in Hell. I didn't care. All I wanted was peace."

My tears are falling as fast as waterfalls now. I'm surprised I'm not down on the ground, letting my tears hit the earth. Instead, I'm leaning against a tree. The bark feels so smooth against my scars.