Mrs. Independent

Chapter One: Argue

Chapter One: Argue

My high heels clack loudly on the wood floor as I emerge from upstairs with my six month old son on my hip. The scent of bacon and coffee wafts up my nose as I go downstairs.
My son coos happily and puts his slobbery hands on my shoulder.
When I walk into the kitchen, I see my husband is dressed in a button down and black slacks, and I falter.
"Hey darling," Josh turns around when the sound of my heels go silent, and the same look of hesitation that I feel inside is on his face.
"Hey." I say carefully, walking over to him. I accept his kiss, and then he plants another one on my forehead and one on Caiden's forehead.
"Sleep good?" He asks.
"Yeah. I didn't hear Caiden wake up last night." I frown.
"I didn't either."
We both look down at our son, who looks at me and grins, flashing his two bottom teeth.
He's going to town on his hand and I know it's because he's teething.
Without another word, I turn around and put Caiden in his highchair at the breakfast table.
I put a bib around his neck and give him a teething ring so he can gnaw on that instead.
Josh continues making breakfast and the air is tense as I make baby oatmeal for Caiden. I get a bottle of pumped breast milk from the fridge and baby food, banana flavor.
I grab a spoon and walk over to his high chair, turning it so he's facing the table.
Josh and I don't speak as I begin feeding Caiden, and I begin to get a little anxious.
I hate when things are tense between us, and I hate when this conversation comes up.
A couple of minutes later, he sets down a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast in front of me and a cup of coffee, and then he sits down across from me and I take bites between Caiden's bites.
Eventually, somebody is going to have to bring it up.
Between my eating and Caiden eating, Josh eats and cleans up from breakfast, and then he sits back down across from me, resting his arms on the table. I feel his eyes on me and I glance at him.
"You know we're gonna have to figure this out, right?" He asks gently. "We might as well do it now and get it over with."
"I want to go to work." I say.
"I know." He nods. "But you don't have to go to work."
"I'm in charge of the New York branch." I argue. "I run the branch."
"So hire somebody else to run it. You created it. You're in charge. You have to delegate."
"I delegated every other branch in existence. The only one that I run is New York. We agreed the day I told you I was pregnant that I would get to work still. We agreed we would figure it out-"
He sighs softly and nods.
"I know. And technically we could get a nanny, but-"
"I don't want Caiden to think somebody else is his Mom. I'm his Mom. He's our son. We should raise him."
"I agree one hundred percent." He says. "But sweetheart, something had to give here. We don't want a sitter but we both want to work."
I sit back, watching Caiden chew on his teething ring now that he's done eating.
And then I bury my head in my hands and groan.
"God baby, I'm tired of having this conversation. We leave tonight for two weeks. I need to go to work to make sure that everyone is equipped to handle the company while I'm gone. Can't you just take Caiden with you?"
"No, I can't take him with me. That's unprofessional. Why don't you take him with you?"
"Because it's unprofessional." I say. "You just said it's unprofessional."
"If you know it's unprofessional, why would you ask me to do it?" He replies.
"Why would you ask me to do it?" I shoot back.
"Look," he stands up. "You're the boss. You don't have to go to work-
"Josh, I run the New York branch! I have been three times since Caiden was born, and that was because you were home! It's not fair that you would say that I don't have to go to work! My job is just as important as yours, if not more!"
"Family first." He says. "You should be hiring somebody to run the New York branch for you."
The thing that's the most enraging about our fights is when he speaks, he remains calm in the same tone. He never once yells
"Working is who I am!"
"No." He says. "You're a wife, Katherine! A mother!"
"And you're a husband and a father, but you don't give a shit what affects your wife and son!"
Hurt crosses his features.
"You think I don't give a shit about you two?" He asks quietly.
I know I didn't mean that, I got pissed off and it just came out.
I open my mouth to apologize, but he stands up.
"I'm going to work." His voice is quiet, hurt.
"Wait. I'm sorry, don't go." I start to get up but he's shaking his head.
"No, I'm gonna go." He says. "I don't give a shit, you know?"
He kisses Caiden's head.
"Bye."
Without another word, he walks out.

_____

When Caiden went down for his nap, I cleaned the entire house even though it was already spotless, checked my suitcase, Josh's suitcase, and Caiden's suitcase just to make sure everything was good, and now I'm sitting on the couch staring at the coffee table, a frown etched on my face.
We have to be at the port for our cruise by three because it leaves at five.
And on top of that, my whole family is coming and so is Josh's.
It's one big, expensive family reunion, I guess, that his Mom has been planning since the day we announced our pregnancy.
She wanted us all to bond, so now we're taking an eighteen day, seventeen night cruise to the United Kingdom and Belgium.
She wanted to go sooner but Josh and I politely told her we weren't taking our baby on a boat unless he was at least eating some type of food that didn't come out of me.
The entire family on my side and Josh's is stoked.
But the thought of being stuck on a ship that could sink for days at a time makes me want to stay home.
But things are finally good with my family. I don't want to mess it up on both sides.
It's around one and Josh should be home any minute. We need to leave soon to get to the port on time, but everyone coming on the ship is in the city.
I feel more stressed about my life right now than I have in a while.
With a sigh, I drop my head into my hands, trying to figure out how I'm going to handle things with my husband.
He didn't say I love you when he left.
He always says I love you.
My phone vibrates on the table and I look down at it.
My Love: I was wondering if you could like drive out here with Caiden and our things for the cruise? I don't want to drive all the way back and then come here again. It's a waste of gas
I stare at the message for a full minute.
Me: you were supposed to be here at one and it's already ten minutes past. Have you even left yet?
My Love: no I didn't think you'd care
So he wants me to load three heavy suitcases into the car along with the baby, and then driven an hour and a half by myself because he doesn't feel like driving?
My Love: I guess it's a little late now. Sorry
My eyes narrow.
Me: k. You better be waiting for us when I get there. If I have to load and unload everything and our son by myself, I will put Caiden back in the car and we'll come home. You can go on the fucking cruise without us
The message goes to read immediately.
My Love: ok ill see you then drive safe
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I say out loud.
I stand up, livid, and throw open the front door.
I unlock my Mercedes and start lugging our bags inside of it.
When the car is packed, I go upstairs and lift up Caiden.
I hate having to wake him, but it needs to be done.
I change his diaper , breastfeed him, and take him down to the car.
I lock the house and get in, checking my phone when I'm in the drivers seat.
My Love: don't forget the passports
Me: they're in my purse.
My Love: ok
By the time I'm on the interstate, i'm already vocally planning what I'm going to tell Josh.
He was rude, I didn't mean what I said earlier and he didn't give me a chance. It's wrong of him to ask me to stop working. He should be respecting what I want and what makes me happy. It was messed up for him to make me pack the car and drive to the port all by myself.
I feel like I'm going to start crying from pure fury, so I pull over, resting my head on the steering wheel.
How am I going to endure two weeks of being trapped in the middle of the fucking ocean?

_____

Look sometimes people say things they don't mean when they're mad and they do things they don't mean when they're mad. I once (fully on reflex) punched my best friend in the face because I asked her to stop hitting me and she wouldn't. I didn't mean to hit her, it just happened.
I promise the relationship you love so much will come back
~Sam

Just promise you'll read the next chapter :)