Mrs. Independent

Chapter Nine: Park

Chapter Nine: Park

"Mama! Your phone is ringing!"
"Answer it!" I yell from upstairs, pulling my shirt over my head. I rush out of the bedroom and down the staircase just as I see my six year old grab it off the counter and hit the green button.
"Hello this is my Mommy's phone how can I help you?"
Caiden stands in the kitchen. One hand rests in the pocket of his jeans and he's leaning against the counter the same way his father does.
"She is busy can I take a message?" He asks.
I hold my hand out for my phone.
"Oh just kidding Grandma, here she is." He hands me my phone. "It's Grandma."
With that, he walks back to the living room with his three other siblings.
By Grandma, he means Josh's Mom. My Mom is known as Nana.
"Hello?" I ask.
"Hey Katherine." Megan says. "How's is going?"
"It's good, what's up?"
"Well, summer ends next month and I haven't seen the kids yet. I was thinking we could do a huge family vacation like we did when Caiden was a baby. Except for, maybe we could do like, a Disney cruise or something? The kids are old enough to enjoy it."
I sigh quietly.
"I don't know about another cruise." I say.
"Why? Is it because of what happened last time with Caiden? I don't mean to sound rude sweetie, but I know it's not money that's making you hesitate."
She's got that right. Josh and I have enough money for us to live on a cruise.
"I just don't want to bring four kids on a boat."
"What boat, Mommy?" My five year old asks, tugging at my shirt. Green eyes that he inherited from his father peer up at me with light blue hair the same shade as mine resting on his head.
"Nothing Matthew, go back into the living room, okay buddy?"
"Okay."
He goes back to the living room to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse with his three other siblings.
"How about we fly somewhere then?" She asks. "I would like to see the kids."
"No, of course, yeah, I'm sure flying somewhere would work. We miss you guys. How are Ashley and Eric doing?"
"Oh they're great. She's about five months along now."
"That's wonderful."
"That reminds me, are you going to come to the baby shower? I know it's in Illinois and all but I think she would really want you there."
"When is it again?"
"October 16th." She says.
"Let me put it in the calendar."
I open the lid to my MacBook and add in.
"I'll try my best to be there."
"Ashley wants Eric to be there so all the men in the family are invited. She said you can bring the kids."
"Okay, great."
"Oh yeah, back to the trip though, the kids have passports, right?"
"Yes." I nod, even though she can't see me.
"So let's go somewhere. What about Costa Rica?"
"Who's coming?"
"Well my side of the family, and yours." She says. "Your sister too-"
"No, Claire isn't coming." I say right away.
"You guys still aren't talking?"
"I have nothing to say to her."
It's been about five and a half years since I convinced my sister to go to rehab. When she got out, I was six and a half months pregnant with Matthew. She was good for a while and started using again. She went back to rehab, and the second time she got out I was five months pregnant with Bryson. She started using a few months later and went back to rehab.
Josh and I had originally planned to have three kids tops, but we wanted a girl so bad that we agreed we would try one last time, someday.
My sister got out of rehab for the third time and went crazy. She tried to blame me for her being a drug addict, in front of my three boys, she tried to convince the whole family on Christmas Day that I was the person getting her drugs. Josh's family was there too and her and I got in a screaming match and it was snowing outside and we were in the backyard and she shoved me in the pool. Josh straight up told her to leave. He called her a cab and told her to leave our house. He brought me in the house, made me change, and then I spent the night shivering in front of the fire.
When everyone went to bed and the kids were down, I cried. I cried myself to sleep in my husbands arms, and I stayed in bed the next three days.
He got me to leave my room and go back to normal life.
A week and a half later, he said he wanted to try one more time for a little girl. We had a discussion about it that continued on and off for a few days and we agreed that, after the fourth pregnancy, he was getting snipped.
I was thirty one and tired of being pregnant all the time. Four kids is plenty.
I told him that if God didn't want to give us a girl, he had a reason.
But we hoped. We hoped and we prayed every night. We had a gender reveal party and when we popped the balloon the spilt pink dust all over the place, I started crying.
I saw Clare once after that, a week after Emma was born. She came to my house to apologize, but I could see that she wasn't sober in the look in her eyes.
I told her I had a doctor appointment to get her to leave, and we haven't spoken since, despite her multiple attempts.
My parents kicked her out, Liam told her she isn't moving in with him and his wife, who he has been married to since I was pregnant with our little girl, Emma.
She's pregnant now, and I'm just excited for our children to have some cousins to play with.
I'm selfishly hoping it's a girl, because Emma is the only girl in the family. Josh and I's three boys are inseparable and they like to play outside together and go swimming, but Emma likes to run around the yard and pick flowers to give to Josh.
She doesn't like to fight over who is in charge of the treehouse.
She needs a girl to play with.
Anyways, I don't speak to Claire and she stopped reaching out.
"Katherine? Are you there?"
I blink a few times and snap back into current day.
"Yes, sorry." I say. "Yeah no, Claire's not coming."
"Okay. Well talk it over with Josh and the rest of your family and call me back, okay?"
"Of course."
"Alright, give the kids a kiss for me."
"I will." I say.
"Okay, bye, love you."
"Love you too, bye."
I hang up the phone and walk into the living room.
Caiden, Matthew, and Bryson are sitting in a line on the couch, staring at the TV, and Emma is in the playpen.
She's only two and she still shouldn't wander around by herself anymore. She still likes holding things she doesn't understand.
I glance at the time on my phone and see it's ten thirty in the morning.
They've all eaten, they're all dressed, and the sun is out.
My hair is brushed, my contacts are in, and I'm in light blue skinny jeans and a gray t-shirt.
Without a word, I pick up the TV remote and hit the power button.
"Mama, why?" Bryson whines.
"You guys get an hour after you wake up with the TV and an hour before you go to bed. You have had more than an hour."
"Mama, I'm hungry."  Bryson says. "When is Daddy coming home?"
"We have to go pick him up soon." I say.
The idea of seeing my husband today makes my heart speed up.
He went to California to help his friend Austin and Austin's wife, Carly, to help them sell their house. He's been gone for two weeks and I miss him like crazy.
I also can't wait for Austin and Claire to move back.
They moved away shortly after Josh and I got married, and then we went to their wedding before I was pregnant with Caiden.
That's the last time I saw them. Carly and I text sometimes on and off and we share photos of our kids.
She has two girls and a boy, five year old Owen, two year old Olivia and six month old Ava.
I want Emma and Olivia to be best friends.
We all agreed to have a barbecue with the kids and them when they're settled in their new house.
Josh's flight lands at three in the city, so we should leave here around twelve thirty since we're an hour and a half from the city.
I know the four of them are not going to handle sitting in an airport to wait for Josh very well, so I go into the kitchen as they start getting out their toys, and I make lunches for all four of them.
I'm going to take them to the park until we have to leave and they can eat at the picnic table. It'll be good for them to get out of the house.
I'm hoping that Emma will fall asleep in the car so I can just carry her while she's sleeping. The other three are easier to watch because they're old enough to speak full sentences and understand things, but Emma is still in diapers and she doesn't understand things the way her brothers do.
I make five peanut butter and jellies, I get five small packs of gummies, four juice boxes and a vitamin water, and then I get four packs of crackers.
I put them in a large lunch box with an ice pack, and then I go upstairs.
I put on my striped white and black Toms and tie a plaid button down around my waist. I grab my black purse, which I transformed into the diaper bag, and then I get shoes from each kids room and go back downstairs.
I hand Caiden, Matthew, and Bryson his shoes, and then I walk over to Emma's playpen and pick her up.
"Sit down on the couch beautiful." I set her down and she sits there, staying still while I put on her socks and black converse.
She's wearing a dress. The top is a tank top type dress and it's blue and white stripes. The bottom is a white skirt.
I fix her hair you tanking back her bangs and braiding them on each side, and then connecting them together in the back. That way her hair is down, but it's out of her face.
"Can Mama have a kiss?" I ask her.
She leans in and gives me an open-mouthed kiss on my cheeks.
I return it with a kiss to her cheek.
"Alright." I stand up and check each one of the boys to make sure their shoes are on the right feet and they're straight.
When I'm sure they're all good to go, I grab the lunch box and the diaper bag, and I take Emma's hand, walking with her out to the car.
The boys follow me and I open the door to the Cadillac Escalade.
Caiden and Matthew go in first, and then Bryson goes in after them.
I put Emma in the seat next to Bryson and buckle her into the car seat.
All three boys are in booster seats, so when Emma is safely buckled into her seat, I check the boys to make sure they're all buckled, and then I get in the front seat and change the station to Radio Disney.
"Where are we going Mama?" Bryson ask.
"It's a surprise." I say.
I put on my seatbelt and lock the doors, putting the car in drive. I wrap around the koi pond in the driveway and pull out onto the street.
"Mommy, when is Daddy coming home?" Matthew asks.
"In a couple of hours." I say.
"Okay."
They all talk or sing to the radio. Emma makes noises and watches the trees pass out the window.
I pull to the park.
"We're getting to play?!" Caiden asks.
"Yes, but please try not to get too dirty. We're going to get Daddy after we leave here."
I unlock the doors and they all remove their seatbelts and go running for the playground.
I unbuckle Emma and grab the lunch box and diaper bag from the car.
I let her loose to run around with her brothers. A few other parents or grandparents are littered around the playground watching after their kids.
See, this is why I need Josh.
He's like a fricken hawk.
I keep my eyes on Emma specifically, and then Bryson. Caiden and Matthew will be okay if I don't watch them constantly.
My three boys start playing tag in the field with the other kids their age, and the only other child that's under the age of four aside from Emma, who is two, is a baby too young to do anything except for go in the swing.
I start moving closer when Emma runs to join them, but one of the bigger kids runs into her on accident and knocks her back on her butt.
Her bottom lip puckers out.
"Jason!" I hear somebody scolding the little boy behind me.
"I'm sorry Momma, I didn't see her." The boy turns to me as I pick up Emma. "I'm sorry.
"It's okay, you didn't mean to."
He turns back to play with the other kids.
The mother of the boy gives me an apologetic smile.
"Is she okay? I'm sorry. Sometimes he gets ahead of himself."
"Yeah, she's alright. I completely understand. I have three boys." I gesture to them as they run around in the field and she nods.
With that, I take Emma over to the picnic table and sit her down.
She has tears in her eyes and a pout on her face.
I wipe away her tears and open the diaper bag.
I lay a sheet down on the ground and get out some toys for her to play with, sitting down on the ground with her while she pretends to read a book.
"Peeeeess!" She thrusts the book in my direction.
I take it from her hand.
"Please what?" I ask, annunciation gets every word so she can understand how to say them. "Do you want me to read it to you?"
"Yees." She bobs her head up and down. "Pees Mama."
"Okay, I will read it to you."
"Fank yuh." She sticks her thumb in her mouth and sits before me with her legs wide open.
I glance up to check on the boys, and then I move her into my lap and begin reading her the book.
I show her the pictures and let her feel the pieces of fabric and fur attached to the animals.
She stops me if I start to turn the page too early and touches the book. I look up to check on the boys again, and then I finish the book and set it aside.
"Do you want to go on the swing?" I ask her, pointing at the swingset.
"Peeees!" She says.
"Can you say swing?" I ask, moving her out of my lap to face me.
She stares at me with wide eyes.
"Swing?" I repeat.
"Sing!" She grins.
"Good job Emma!" I kiss her cheek and stand up. She pushes herself to her feet, and I carry her over to the swing, setting her down in it. I look over to the boys again, and then go back to start pushing her.
She giggles and squeals as I swing her as high as I'm comfortable letting her go.
As I do so, I think about how I only swing her so high, and it makes me miss Josh.
The kids know he will swing them as high as the swingset will let him go. He will throw them into the pool, toss them so high in the air that my stomach drops, sets them on the kitchen counter when they could drop down, and when I tell him to stop he tells me he's watching them and I have nothing to worry about.
I know he is. He's not careless in his acts.
If one of the kids swung too high, he would run in front of the swing to stop it before he let one of our babies get hurt.
I would too, of course, but I would rather not have to worry about whether they're going to drown in the pool or fall off the counter and crack their head open.
But he doesn't worry, he just knows they'll be fine.
Another reason I want him to come home is because I miss him like crazy. Having an empty bed makes me sad. I sleep better with him around.
I check my watch and see it's around eleven forty five. We need to leave in about forty five minutes, and I know that's about as long as it's going to take the kids to eat.
I stop the swing and lift Emma out of it, walking over to the field with her hand in mine.
"Boys!" I say over the sound of their laughter.
My three stop running to look at me.
"Yes Mama?" Bryson asks breathlessly.
"Come on, it's time for lunch."
"But I want to play." Caiden says.
"Well we need to get Daddy soon, so you boys need to come eat."
They don't argue with me any further, they just say goodbye to their friends and follow me back to the picnic table.
I set Emma down at the table and the three boys sit across from Emma and I. I pass each one of them a sandwich cut in half and a paper plate. I give them a juice box, a packet of crackers, and their gummies.
I do the same with Emma, but I put the pieces I cut up of her sandwich on a plate and I open her packages for her.
"Can you open this Mommy please?" Bryson hands me his juice box.
I unwrap the straw and stick it in the small space for it, and then I give it back to him and do the same for the other two.
I get my sandwich and gummies, and then I open my vitamin water and take a sip.
"Do you think Daddy will go swimming with us later?" Matthew asks. "I can't wait for him to come home. I love you so much Mommy, but I love Daddy the same."
"Me too!" Bryson agrees.
"Yeees!" Emma exclaims.
"Yeah, I do too. Plus, you aren't the same without Daddy, and Daddy isn't the same without you."
"Well, I love all of you guys too."
"And Daddy." Matthew says with his mouth full.
"And Daddy." I nod. "Don't speak with your mouth full, okay? It's not polite."
We all sit in silence for a couple of minutes as we eat our sandwiches.
I finish first of course, and I realize Emma is having trouble eating because she's too short, so I move her into my lap to give her a boost.
The boys start asking me for help opening their crackers and gummies, and after having them asking the proper way, I open all of their things and drink some more of my vitamin water.
I keep an eye on the time and see we have about ten minutes before we have to leave, but all of their hands are sticky from the gummies and I'm sure Emma needs a diaper change before we start an hour and a half drive.
"Alright boys, can you help Mama and throw out your trash?" I ask.
"Okay!"
The three of them get up and gather their garbage, and Caiden takes Emma's plate. Matthew takes my plate and Bryson grabs my empty Vitamin Water. I smile.
My husband does his best to raise gentlemen.
"Thank you boys, that's very sweet." I say politely.
"Fanks you!" Emma giggles.
"You're welcome." They say together.
When they come back, I have Emma help me put her toys back in the diaper bag. I shake the leaves off of the sheet and wrap it up, walking back to the car.
I unlock it and put the bags in the trunk.
I pause before I go to start the engine.
"Does anybody have to go potty? If you say no because you don't want to, I will not be stopping on the ride to the city."
"Yes I do." Caiden says.
Matthew and Bryson nod in agreement.
I shut the trunk and take Emma's hand, walking them to the family bathroom.
All three of them go into the men's, which is just one toilet, and I go into the women's with Emma and stand her up while I use the bathroom.
I wash my hands and exit the bathroom with Emma, waiting by the door for the boys.
The doors are rather heavy because they're outside doors, so I hear them trying to open it and I reach out to help them.
The three of them emerge.
"Did you all go?" I ask.
"Yes." Bryson says.
"Did you flush the toilet?" I ask, knowing fully well they didn't.
"Uh." Caiden looks up at me. "No."
Without a word, I open the door back up and stand there and watch as they flush. I make them wash their hands, and then we go back to the car.
I start the engine to get the air conditioner going and the boys get in and buckle.
I lie Emma in the truck on the changing mat and pull up her dress, changing her diaper.
She went both ways so I get the cream so she won't get a rash. I change her quickly and throw out the diaper.
Afterwards, I put her in her car seat and check the other three to make sure they're buckled, and then I get in the car.
It's already cooler in here and I see it's been fifteen minutes since we left the table, five minutes after I wanted to get on the road.
I reach behind me to feel the AC vents to make sure they're getting air in the back, and then I pull out of my parallel parking spot and start the drive to go pick up my love from the airport.

______

I love this chapter like it feels so natural
~Sam