Mrs. Independent

Chapter Eleven: Footsteps

Chapter Eleven: Footsteps

After driving home, I made up a quick dinner for the kids which consisted of oven cooked chicken fingers, ketchup, green beans, and mac and cheese. I put the three boys in the bath together and then put Emma in the bath.
After their baths, they all got to watch more TV. And at seven thirty, I put Emma in bed. At eight, I put Bryson in bed, and at eight thirty, I put Caiden and Matthew in bed.
Now, at three something in the morning, I'm still wide awake.
I shut off Netflix for an hour and tosses and turned, and then I laid away staring at the empty spot next to me like I do every night.
I used to be a woman who didn't want any physical contact with anybody, I didn't want any feelings with anybody, and I didn't want to rely on anybody.
While I still am very independent, I want Josh. I crave his attention. I crave his physical contact.
I crave his presence.
I glance at my phone on the bed.
Is he thinking about me, too?
Is he awake?
I want to text him, but what if he's sleeping soundly?
Does he sleep good in a bed without me? Is it just me missing him this much?
I sigh and roll over again.
It's too quiet.
Rubbing my eyes, I sit up and shove the covers off of me.
My nights have been like this since the night he left.
Have you ever been so tired you just want to sit down on the floor and cry?
That's me right now, but now matter how hard I try, I just can't fall asleep.
Sighing, I slip out of bed, my feet pressing against the thick carpet.
I pad silently out of the bedroom and make my way downstairs.
I flick on the light in the kitchen and dim it as low as it will go. I walk over to the breakfast table and turn right, and then left again, going downstairs to the basement.
I turn on the lights and wander past the pool table, opening the closet door.
I grab the tower fan and plug it in. I hit the power button and feel cool air blow against my legs.
It's cold.
I shiver and shake my head, putting the fan back into the closet after I rip the plug from the wall.
I shut the door silently and go back upstairs, flicking off the lights as I go. I close the door to the staircase and go back to the kitchen, glaring at the green letters on the stove.
3:56AM
I lean forward and press my forehead to the countertop, wishing sleep to take over.
I sigh and push myself into an upright position, getting a plastic cup from the cabinet. I fill it with water from the refrigerator and sip it until it's gone. I put the cup in the dishwasher and go back upstairs, turning off the light in the kitchen.
Now the only light in the whole house is coming off of the front porch.
I check to make sure the door is locked even though I checked twice before I went to bed, and then I go back upstairs and shut my bedroom door, leaving it open just a crack so if one of the kids need me they can just push it.
Emma is too young to turn the handle, so I leave the doors cracked so she can get out.
The bed on my side is cooler now, so I lie back down and shut my eyes, waiting.
But sleep doesn't come.
I toss and turn for a while and then roll over, glaring at the clock.
4:26AM
I groan quietly and put my pillow over my head, trying my best not to scream in frustration.
I hear a slam downstairs and sit up fast, listening.
No, something probably fell off the counter. I know I locked the front door.
But I hear footsteps.
Footsteps!
I start looking around for a weapon, listening to the footsteps coming up the stairs.
I shove the covers off of me and get up, grabbing my phone charger as a strangling device.
Silently, I push open the bedroom door and look out into the hallway.
There is a person standing at the top of the stairs.
I back against the wall so they can't see me, my heart pounding as I watch them turn and start coming towards my bedroom.
Just as they reach the door, they stop, turning their head in my direction.
I hold my breath.
The figure reaches towards me and pulls the phone charger out of my hand.
"A murderer comes into a house full of our children and your weapon of choice is a wire wrapped in plastic?"
My eyes widen.
"You're home early!" I whisper shout.
"Yeah, well..." he trails off. "I missed you."
My bottom lip puckers out and I step forward, wrapping my arms around his waist.
He smells like pine and mint. His arms wrap around me in return, his back pressed against the doorjam of our bedroom.
I stand there like that, holding onto him.
He makes no movements to pull away.
"What are you doing up? It's four thirty in the morning." He murmurs into my hair.
"I couldn't sleep."
He starts rubbing my back and I feel so tired and I just-
I feel my body start falling but I'm caught before I hit the ground.
"Whoa, what was that?" Josh asks. He has one hand on the back of my head and one hand on my back.
"Oh nothing, I just fell asleep." I mumble.
"You couldn't sleep." He repeats. "How long have you not been able to sleep?"
"Two weeks." I yawn. "I sleep on and off throughout the night but I haven't gotten more than four hours of sleep a night."
He scoops me up bridal style, carrying me to the bed. He lies me down and pulls the covers over me. I see him grab my MacBook off of his side of the bed and he sets it along with my cell phone on my side table.
He leans down and kisses my forehead, and then he walks out from the room.
I prop myself up and stare at the door, waiting.
A minute or so later I hear his footsteps approaching and this time he has his suitcase.
He disappears with it in the bathroom, and then I can hear him peeing.
A few minutes later he walks over to the bedroom door and shuts it, and I hear his dresser opening and closing.
As he changes into only his underwear and tosses his clothes into the hamper,I see him glance at me.
"Katherine, you need to go to sleep. You're going to end up passing out if you don't sleep."
"I can't." I say.
He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair a couple of times.
He walks over to his side of the bed and pulls back the blankets.
"Come here." He murmurs, reaching for me.
I scoot over into his arms and I feel him reaching for my leg. He pulls it over his legs so I'm spooning him and I nestle my face into his chest.
"I love you." I say, inhaling the scent of pine and mint.
He's so warm. I squeeze him tightly.
"I love you too." He laughs a little.
I shift my head on my chest and the last thing I remember before I fall asleep is some drool slipping out of my mouth onto his chest.

______

I'm in such a bad mood when people wake me up I get so angry especially when I'm sick and I've lost count how many times my brother has woken me up today
~Sam