That should be Me

Love.

Everything's alright. Before. Its perfect. We were perfect. Who would have thought we would end-up like this? Who would have thought we will experience this? Sa dami ba naman ng napagdaanan natin 'di ba? Mahirap nga namang paniwalaan. We were just ordianry people in-love. Pero siguro nga hanggang dito nalang tayo. We were a perfect couple. Yan ang sabi nila. Baka raw kasi True Love na 'to. Mula kasi bata pa tayo hanggang nangyari Yon, tayo na ang magkasama. Minsan nga, kambal-tuko pa ang tawag satin eh. Hindi kasi tayo mapaghiwalay. Kung birthday ng isa, parang birthday na rin ng isa. May special communication tayo na tayo lang ang nakakaintindi. Isang tingin palang, alam na. Ganoon tayo noon. Sabi mo nga, kahit anong mangyari, ikaw at ako pa rin ang mahalaga. Hanggang isang araw, inaya mo kong lumabas. Sabi mo may surprise ka sakin kasi napasa mo exams mo. Thank you gift mo na rin kasi sabi mo ako ang naging inspirasyon mo sa pag-rereview. Corny pero kinilig ako non. I'm excited at that moment. Pero di ko ine-expect na that would be the most unforgettable and painful day in our-- my life.

We met an accident. Driving along the highway, singing passenger seat and holding hands, a loud beeping sound and  flashing light has taken our attention, papunta yon satin. My heart started beating fast and hard like it wants to leapt out of my chest. But you, you managed to look at me, smiled and kissed my forehead saying, "Magiging okay din ang lahat. Tandaan mo palagi ha? Mahal na Mahal kita. Ikaw lang walang iba." And everything went so fast.

I woke up at the hospital, bruises in my body. I didn't cared for that. Hinanap kita. Kahit masakit pa ang katawan ko, i badly want to see you. Hindi ka nila ipakita sakin. No. i'm not accepting the small voice in my head that says maybe ...

your Gone. No. Hindi. Nararamdaman ko, you're fine. You're okay. Hindi ka pwedeng mawala.

And i was right. Kahit na you're in coma, and has 50/50 chance of recovery, i didn't lose hope.

I prayed for you. Every single day and night.

I took care of you. sabi nga nila, tinalo ko pa yung nurse sa pag-aalaga sayo eh.

Palagi rin kitang kinaka-usap kahit na walang response galing sayo. I even joked once, na kahit kilay lang man sana, pagalawin mo, i swear i'll graduate SuMa.

Kinukwentuhan din kita ng lahat ng masasayang memories natin. Simula noong naging knight in shining armor kita sa lahat ng bumubully sakin, nung gumawa tayo ng tree house, first ever movie marathon na nakatulog  rin tayo kaya pinagalitan tayo nung umaga dahil 8 na tayo nagising. Yung tinulungan mo kong makatakas sa bahay para lang makanuod ng concert ni Rihanna kahit na maka-rockband ka. Yung First time mong makasapak at makasuntok ng ibang tao dahil pinaasa nya lang ako, yung pagdukdok mo ng Ice cream sa mukha ko para lang hindi makita ang luha ko at pag-amin mo--  natin sa isa't isa. Lahat ng yun ginawa ko sa pag-asang magigising ka.

At hindi naman ako nabigo. After 1 and a half month, nagising ka nga. Sobrang saya ko nun, yung pangungulila ko sa'yo ng mahigit isang buwan nawala ng minulat mo ang mga mata mo. I thank all the heavens above, finally, you're safe. You're here. Hindi ka nawala. I'm so relieved.

But it all vanished the moment i came into your room.

I've heard the most dreadful question i never ever dreamt of you asking me --
"Who are you?"

Hindi mo na kami kilala. Kahit isa samin wala kang kilala. Everything becomes nothing. Hindi pa ko nakakalapit sa'yo, lumabas na ko. Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko kayang itanong mo sakin yan. My world will surely break down. Ito na ba yung sinasabi nila na Truth Hurts? Di naman nila sinabi ganito pala kasakit. Di ako ready. Putspa. My tears were like rain, titigil maya-maya tutulo na naman. Tinanong nila ko, if i want to introduce myself-AGAIN-to you. I said wag na. I can manage. Even though i can't. Mas mabuti na rin siguro 'to. Baka kasi pag-pumasok pa ko sa buhay mo, may mangyari nanaman, hindi ko na kakayanin yun. Mas mabuti nang hindi mo ko kilala.  Your better without me.

Cheat, masakit pala. Yung makita kang may kasama ng iba. That after awhile, your there smiling, while i'm slowly dying here. Martyr na kung martyr pero i can't stand not seeing you everyday. Ayokong ilayo ka nila. Kaya ohkay lang na nakikita kong ginagawa mo lahat ng bagay na ginagawa mo sakin noon, na inaalagan mo sya katulad ng sakin noon, na minamahal mo sya katulad ng pagmamahal mo sakin noon. Ayos lang basta ba masaya at safe ka. Hindi yung sakin na nasasaktan ka lang. And at least walang nagbago sayo. Ikaw pa rin yung lalaking Mahal na Mahal ko. I just hope na sana ginagawa nya rin pabalik lahat ng ginagawa mo.

But Love, i just can't help thinking,

That should be Me.
That should have been ME.

ⓑⓨ

HeraTequila♥

∽Thank You ∽