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kenzies pov

in the dressing room, i tried to collect my thoughts, which was nearly impossible. my mind was everywhere– how i never got over johnny. why he went by jay now. when nadia met him. why i lost touch with lauren. how johnny managed to move on so fast. basically what i had been thinking about all day. but the part that always bugs me?

johnny has never said he was sorry for breaking up with me. not while he was doing it, not after, not now. it's like he doesn't regret it. when it's the biggest regret of my life.

isn't that ironic?

my phone buzzes. text from john💘💘. i suppose i never changed his contact. with a sigh, i swipe to read the message.

john💘💘 can we please talk about this?
read 3:14

john💘💘 kenz come on.

you okay fine. i'm coming out.

john💘💘 thank you.
read 3:17

i exit the dressing room, forgetting all about the clothes i wanted to try, and look for johnny. he's standing by the door. he smiled apologetically when he spots me. i roll my eyes and walk over to him.

"what is it?" i ask, crossing my arms. "why do you wanna talk?"

"um, because you clearly hate me. and i'm gonna be hanging out with you for the next week or so."

"okay, fine. i have questions."

"go ahead." johnny says, leaning back against the wall and running his fingers through his hair. this would be easier if he didn't look so damn cute.

"why do you go by jay orlando instead of johnny dawson?"

"because my mom . . . she got divorced, from my dad. because he was abusive to her." john closes his eyes, clearly upset. "and no one wanted to keep his name. so we all switched to my moms last name."

"i'm so sorry." i manage, glancing down. i want to hug him and comfort him. but i can't do that. he shrugs, playing with the belt loop on his jeans.

"and jay is short for johnny. j, johnny." john explains haltingly.

"okay, well." i try to think of something else. "when did you meet nadia?" at this, he grows squirmy and tugs on his ear.

"um, i don't really...." he pauses and bites his lip guiltily. "like a week after we broke up." he says so quietly that i have to strain to hear him.

"a week?" my voice wavers. i pray i had heard wrong. he nods embarrassedly in confirmation, and i scoff. "wow, that's a record. good job, i'm so proud of you for fucking two girls over within one week! or, wait, was there more in between?" i spit, shoving past him and opening the door. i step outside and walk to the nearest bench, inhaling the cool summer air.

johnny knows better than to follow, thankfully. my eyes mist over, and i wipe at them quickly. i will not cry over johnny dawson. or orlando, or whatever he goes by! i will never cry over johnny orlando again!

it just hurts that he moved on so fast. like i meant nothing to him, like i never will, when he means so much to me. so yeah. it hurts.

poor kenz :(
-ria

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