It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn

Never Gonna Let You Go Again

Izzy's POV

When Duff finally walks out I let the tears that have been threatening to slide out from under my eyelids all night go. I look at my former lover laying in front of me, a limp, beaten, broken thing and I'm totally devastated. How could anyone do this to him? Especially someone who claimed to love him? Then I remember it was Axl and I need no explanations. I've been there myself. That's probably why Slash is laying here like this anyway, I left Axl in Indiana after years of his abuse and came to LA. Axl of course followed and five years later we're one of the biggest bands in America. One night I seduced Slash, who had never been with a man, into my bed. Things between us were electric, his touch burned me like fire from the first time my lips touched his but there was also something else, there was a sweetness, an innocence in his heart that I fell totally head over heels for. I wanted to take care of him and love him from that first night on. It was just supposed to be a one night thing, a conquest, just to see if I could get him to fuck me; but it wasn't' for either one of us. He could hardly get it out of his mouth that first night we were together but when everything was over he didn't want me to leave his bed and I didn't want to go. It wasn't long before I told him I thought I was in love with him, and I was terrified he would freak the hell out, before this he had a reputation for having multiple women per night. But he had just looked at me and smiled and said "I love you too Izzy," and things were wonderful for months after that. It was the first relationship either of us had been in for a while and a relationship with another guy was a first for us both. I was the only man Slash had ever been with and although I had slept with other guys none of them had ever reciprocated my feelings. We were both floating on a cloud of what fucking felt like love.

Then Axl tried to get me to sleep with him one night and I wouldn't and that was it, from that moment on he spent his every waking moment flirting with Slash. Onstage he'd be all over him; laying his head on his shoulder and singing, grinding on his ass, kissing his neck just out of view of the audience and the fans fucking ate it up! One night he finally went too far and slid his hand under the waist band of Slash's pants and Slash, being young and more or less always horny got a major boner which freaked him the fuck out and caused a huge fight between us.

Slash resisted Axl's advances, he stayed close to me, trying never to be alone with Axl; until one morning Axl cornered him in the kitchen. I don't know what happened but when I walked in Axl had Slash pressed against the kitchen counter, Slash's cock hard in Axl's hand. Slash was groaning and pressing himself into Axl in a way I'd only ever seen him do when I touched him and I lost it. I hit Axl and threw him into the wall, I punched and kicked him into the floor while Slash tried to stop me but I turned on him and beat him too. Slash wouldn't fight me back though; he just looked at me and gave me a pained look and said "No Izzy, it's not what you think, please!" but I wouldn't hear it. I slammed his head back into the refrigerator so hard that Duff ended up having to take him to the emergency room because I had given him a concussion. He begged me again to listen to him but I wouldn't. I got up and left my baby doll bleeding on the floor. The image of him laying there gripping my shirt, pleading with me to listen to him, has haunted me for months.

I left him lying there and stomped up the stairs and threw all of Slash's shit out of my bedroom and into the hall, sent Duff to check on Slash, and then locked myself into my room to get high. Later that night, when Duff brought him home from the hospital after getting his head checked out Slash came and sat outside my door begging me to forgive him and let him in but I wouldn't. He sat there for days and slept outside my door at night, pleading with me to talk to him, trying to tell me what had happened, but I wouldn't listen. I wouldn't forgive him or take him back or anything. He only left my doorway to go score smack and shoot up or use the bathroom. But I didn't care. I'd just step over him and ignore him when I needed to leave the room. So he ended up with Axl.