It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn

Long Night

I crawl back into bed next to Slash and drift into sleep breathing in his familiar scent for the first time in months, just wishing it was under different circumstances. I would have given up anything to have him back in my arms, I just wish it had been me who had been hurt instead of him, I wanted to preserve that innocence in him, that all trusting heart that had known no pain like I had. But Axl had destroyed that. I hated Axl.

I woke up about five hours later with Slash curled into my body moaning and shivering and shaking me. I turn on the light and look at him; he was awake and his eyes were wild with pain what I could see of them and he was shaking with cold. "What's wrong baby doll?" I asked; quietly running my hands through his hair and kissing his forehead.

"I need another hit Izzy, I'm starting to feel it again, and I need to go to the bathroom, and I'm so cold," he groans.
"Ok sweetness, here, let's go to the bathroom, I'll get your fix ready in there and shoot you up ok?" He nods and I help him stand up which brings a loud painful cry from him and then we begin a slow, shuffle to the bathroom. I can't stand it; I'll probably break my back but I stop him and hoist him into my arms. It's not as hard as I thought it would be and I manage to get us both to the bathroom. I sit him on the toilet so he can pee and go back to the bedroom for my drugs and a blanket. I bring Slash's needle, some smack, a spoon and a lighter. I wrap the extra blanket around him and then wrap myself around him for a minute to help him get warm. When he stops shivering I move to the counter where I mix the brown powder with water in the spoon and a then hold the lighter under it dissolving the powder in the liquid. Then I suck the liquid into the syringe. I look at his arms. I'm going to need my belt to tie him off; I can't use the same vein I used last time it's bruised. I sit the syringe on the counter and go back into the bedroom and pull my belt out of the belt loops of my jeans. I return to the bathroom and wrap the belt around his arm and pull it tight to make his veins stand out. He's got a nice, fat, vein standing out on one of his biceps; although the fact that either one of us has any veins left at all is a miracle we've been shooting for so long; what at least 5 years?.

"Ok," I said kneeling down next to him and extending his arm. "This vein looks good, work as far as you know?"

"It works, I've been trying to let those alone for a while, let them heal, I've been using my hands and my feet."

"Ok, so is it alright if I use this one?" I ask him.

"Fire away," he says. I pick the needle up off the counter and slide it into delicately into his arm. I wait for the flash of blood to come back into the needle and then I slowly inject the brown liquid into his arm. He sits there for a second and then I feel his body start to relax as the heroin flows through him.

"Kicking in?" I ask him.

"Yeah, he says, leaning his head forward and onto my shoulder. "Ok then baby, come on," I tell him. I want to put some more ice on you and antibiotic and give you some ibubprofen so your eyes won't be so swollen. I don't think you took any before you went to sleep the first time."

"Didn't. Was too tired. I want to brush my teeth too."

"Ok, I'll go find your tooth brush. Stay here and I'll get the other stuff too. The ice is helping with the swelling but the ibuprofen will help more." I dig around in my cosmetic bag and come up with a bottle and pour four pills into my hand and give them to him with a glass of water. He manages to down them through his swollen lips as well as the rest of the water. I go open his suitcase and come back with his toothbrush and toothpaste and help him brush his teeth. "You want anything else? Are you hungry?" I ask him.

"No, I'm not hungry. Just take me back to bed I guess. Then, Izz?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Will you just hold me for a little while and watch TV until we fall asleep, like we used to?" he whispers.