Face The Music {One-Shots}

saturn // hollstein

"You taught me the courage of stars before you left." ---Sleeping At Last

"Looking at the stars. It's comforting to think how small we are in comparison."

For some reason, that's all that Carmilla Karnstein can think of as the love of her life lies on the floor in a pool of her own blood, breath shallowly running through her lungs as her eyes flutter.

Laura Eileen Hollis is the biggest, brightest star in her universe.

She has saved a university. She has gone out of her way to find missing girls, even when she was being targeted herself. She has protected Carmilla and other vampires to the best of her ability when Vordenberg took over. She has gone head-to-head with a god, made a deal, and sacrificed herself just so her brooding, undead girlfriend could live to see another day.

Laura has lived such an amazing, extraordinary life.

It's not fair that she's dying an ordinary death, bleeding out from a fractured skull due to an accidental fall down the stairs at the age of twenty-six.

They were supposed to have a lifetime.

Carmilla had been so wrong when she thought that it was comforting for humans to be so tiny, so insignificant. Laura Hollis, who taught her to be strong and courageous, deserved to be seen. The young woman was so big, so bright, so beautiful in this dark shell of a world. She deserved to be remembered by the universe, written into it for all of eternity.

"It's okay, baby, it's gonna be okay. The ambulance is on its way, it'll be here in no time---" Carmilla grips Laura's hand, trying to give her reassurance. There are hitches in the small blonde's breath, irregularities in her heartbeat. Faint whimpers of pain escape her lips, and the sound begins to bring the dark-haired woman to tears.

All she wants to do is take the love of her life's pain away, use her superhuman speed to get them to the hospital herself, but there's no way to tell how to pick Laura up without potentially doing more damage. Running may just cause even more harm to her fragile body.

For the first time in so long, Carmilla feels absolutely useless.

Of course, this has to be happening when it matters the most, in a life or death situation.

"Carm---love---" Laura's voice is soft, nearly non-existent as she closes her eyes. Another pained breath escapes her before they open again. "It's okay. I was really stupid, wasn't I?"

"No, no," the pale woman says, shaking her head and caressing the blonde's cheek gently. "It was an accident. You didn't see the step. But the doctors are going to fix you up, and you'll be okay again. I'll carry you up and down the stairs from now on if I have to. You're too important to lose."

Carmilla's insistent vow of carrying her makes Laura laugh gently before wincing. "I don't think you'll have to worry about that."

"Please don't say that," the vampire begs, feeling more tears rolling down her cheeks. "Please. I'm not giving up on being your roommate so easily, sweetheart." She presses her lips softly to Laura's hand, kissing every knuckle. Her heart breaks in half when she sees her girlfriend tearing up.

"You're so much more to me than that," Laura promises. "So much more."

"And you're my everything," replies Carmilla, pressing more kisses to Laura's skin. Everything seems to stop as the blonde's breathing slows even more, and the vampire fears for the worst. But then her chest rises again.

None of this is fair.

Mircalla Karnstein has lived a long life. She has given, but more frequently, she has taken. She has saved, but both knowingly and unknowingly, she has slaughtered. Her life has been bathed in blood for over three centuries. If anyone deserves death, it should be her.

No matter how much she denies it, Laura deserves the world.

She deserves so much better than Carmilla.

And the dark-haired woman will regret not being able to save her for the rest of her life.

All of the functions in Laura's body begin to shift, a shift that the vampire knows all too well.

The ambulance won't be here in time.

The one last thing she can do, she supposes, is be here when Laura's soul departs. Carmilla knows what it's like to die covered in her own blood, lonely and terrified. There's no way she's leaving her.

"I'm so sorry. You deserved so much more than this. You deserve to be happy and get to experience everything that you want to. I'm sorry that we didn't have the chance to go everywhere you wanted. I thought we'd have so much more time. I still stand by my words, that you're the only person I've found in three hundred years worth saving. And I couldn't even do that. I love you, Laura, and I wish I could've given you all of the good things that you deserved." Carmilla is sobbing now, her chest heaving as the words come out. She can see the light fading from her girlfriend's eyes, and there's not much longer left for her at all.

Laura manages one last weak smile. "But I got the chance to love you, Carm. Why can't that be a good thing?"

Her eyes close, and they don't open again.

Carmilla sits and holds her, pulling her love closer, burying her face in her hair, sobbing quiet apologies into ears that can never hear them. They should've talked about the change. She should've asked Laura, but she also knew that the blonde had reservations and strong feelings about mortality.

She should've asked.

She should've done something.

"Bring her back!" she screams at the death goddess, the one who riddled her once before.

"Bring her back to me!" she wails, demanding to anything or anyone who might be listening.

But there is nothing more to give, not this time.

So Carmilla rocks the love of her life in her arms, pain tearing her apart as the blast from her star's death burns her up from the inside.