Joker's POV
Lucy was much more sick than I led on. The imbalanced chemicals in her body were attacking her cells. This wasn't something that she just woke up one day to. This war inside her body started started when she was still inside Harley. And it was killing her. It was the slowest death that one could imagine, twenty years in the making so far. But judging from her blood work, that war in her body was almost in its final stand. She had a year maybe, best case scenario, two.
I had to save her, but everything I try fails to work. There has to be something I'm not seeing, some tiny detail I'm not thinking about. Maybe I needed sleep. I honestly don't know how many days I've been awake. Perhaps I'm at that point that my mind is trying to shut down, whether my body allows it or not. I'm no good to Lucy if my fried brain doesn't get a few hours to reboot.
I sigh and stand up straight. I've been looking in a microscope so long that my eyes were starting to cross. I rub them a moment until the blurriness fades. I'm too smart to keep failing this way. I run my hand over my hair. I'm failing Lucy. Apparently not being a part of her life wasn't enough to prevent myself from ruining her life. I have to figure this out and find a way to fix it. I'm the only one that can. I have to save my daughter so she can have a long and full life.
She didn't deserve to die young because I didn't do the research on what The PH760-9 would do in reproduction. I do know that if Lucy's mother had been a normal woman without PH760-9 in her system, that the fetus would have miscarried. But because Harley did have the compound it balanced things. Without that balance my DNA would have attacked the cells of the fetus, much like the wrong balance was attacking Lucy's cells.
But I just can't seem to find out why the chemical balances in Lucy are off when she genetically got them from Harley and I. It had to be the method in which she got them. Harley and I went through exposure first. Then the compound absorbed into us. With Lucy they were always just there. Mine and Harley's bodies evolved to the chemicals. But in Lucy that process of evolving couldn't really take place. For her it seems more like a radiation poisoning or something where her DNA triggers things that should be dormant, and steals away from the dominant ones.
I'm a physist, I'm a chemist, and a geneticist. I have the highest degree possible in each one. But I don't know what to do. I can't reprogram Lucy's DNA. I can't eradicate PH760-9 from her all together. If I could then this would be simple. But it is binded to her genetically, it wasn't like a virus that a few pills could clear up. Her organs have assimilated the chemicals, taking the chemicals away would create deficiencies and failures. I have to find a solution for this. I won't let her die.
But I need a break. My brain just isn't firing on all eight cylinders right now. But I don't think I can sleep without a lot of sedation. I leave my office and pace my hallway slowly. I stuck my ear to Lucy's door to see if maybe she's awake, but her room is silent. I sigh and walk away to the door that leads down to the basement. I quietly turn the knob and softly walk down the stairs.
When I step off the last step I can see Harley sleeping soundly in her cell. My chest aches and I instinctively cover the area with my hand. I can still remember every time I ever watched her sleep. It just never sunk in for me how someone so beautiful could love something so ugly. Women always looked at me with fear in their eyes, she's the only one who never did. She always looked at me with fascination, intrigue, and love.
I take a step closer to the glass just to be as close to her as I could get. God I missed her. I'm lonely on my own. After I lost her and Lucy I lost my laugh. I had to resort to faking it, you know, just to keep up my public appearances. But there is no happiness. There is no fun. And all the thrills are gone. I'm merely a shadow of what the Joker once was. There was just nothing to enjoy, especially when you have no one to celebrate with.
I sigh. I just wanted to be able to touch my wife again. I missed the passionate kisses. I miss the way she loved to tease me. I missed having her on my arm and watching as men envied me for having her. Even I have to admit that the pasty white skin looked a he'll of a lot better on her. And she still had the body of that young intern who fell in love with me. I would give anything to be inside this cell with her. It has been a very long time since I'd had the pleasure of a woman. I wasn't fond of adultery, despite how long we've been separated. I meant every word of my vows to her.
I don't know what I should do about Harley. Do I tell her about Lucy, that's she's here? Do I bring Lucy down here to meet her? Do I let her out so she can hug her? Or is it not safe for me if I let her out of here? Would she just try to kill me? Or could she ever find it in her heart to forgive me? I was very sorry for the pain I've caused her, but it really was the best for our daughter.
I slowly bring my hand up to a control panel. I push in a five digit code and the glass raises. The sound wakes Harley and she looks up to see me entering her cell. She quickly sits up and stares at me with spite.
"What do you want?" She frowns, pulling the blanket up to her chin.
I carefully sit down on the end of her cot. I study her eyes and her body language. "Now that you know I didn't kill our daughter can you forgive me at all?"
"Forgive you? Do you think that now I know she's alive that everything is all better? It doesn't fix the years you took away from me."
I look down at my hands and shake my head, "You're not the only one who lost her. I have missed her every single day. I lost her too. But I had to fight myself every day. I knew where she was and I thought of getting her back daily. You don't know how close I came sometimes."
"All this time you've known where she was?" Harley almost growls.
I look at her, "I couldn't tell you because I know your heart would have led you. You weren't strong enough to see that she was better off without us. I'm positive that I made the right decision." And then she slapped the hell out of me. I take in a deep breath and try to remain calm. "Ok, I deserved that."
"You deserve more than that you son of a bitch!"
I point at her sternly, "Careful."
"To hell with your careful! What are you gonna do? Beat me? Yeah, well I've taken those from you before. You just gonna keep me locked up in your basement forever? What do you want from me J?"
"You shouldn't tell her."
"But maybe you should."
"You're a weak fool."
I grasp at my head as my voices throw in their ten cents worth. I take a deep breath but stay unmoved. "I want redemption. I want you to understand everything I did. I want to hear you say that you still love me."
"It'll be a cold day in hell!" She shouts at me.
I quickly jump to my feet. She flinched as if she thought I would hit her. She...feared me. "You broke our vows Harley. You broke my heart."
"You don't have a heart!"
I glare at her, "Don't make me be heartless."
"Where is she J? Where is Lucy?"
"She's in Gotham. She always has been," I answer.
"Why did you bring me here J?"
I didn't know what to say. Do I tell her I did it because I wanted to be near her. That I just wanted to touch her? That I wanted to pretend that my wife still loved me? Do I tell her Lucy is here? Do I tell her that she's dying? Maybe I should tell her the truth.
"If I knew I could trust you there would be no need for all this," I motion around at the cell. I walk out and the door lowers. I stand on the outside looking in at Harley. "She's dying Harley. Lucy is dying. I keep trying to save her...I don't know if I can."
"What? What do you mean? Where is she? What's wrong with Lucy?!" Harley rushed to the glass and bangs on it.
I can't even look at her. "PH760-9 is what's wrong with her. The fact that she was conceived by you and I is what's wrong with her."
"Does she know about us? About PH760-9?"
I slowly look up at her and slide my hands into my pockets. I nod slightly. "She knows."
