Tumblr Crush (Frerard)

1. Gerard's POV

Gerard’s POV:

It’s Friday night and I’m alone in my bedroom, unlike most teenagers who are out with their friends doing things. Not to say I was going to bed early and being a complete loser, it was already 2:00am. It’s just that I was on tumblr. So actually I take back the not being a complete loser statement. At least I was listening to good music while being completely antisocial. Even my little brother, Mikey, was staying over at a friend’s house. I really couldn’t care less. Talking to people was stressful and to be avoided at all costs. Of course interacting through the Internet wasn’t as annoying and worrisome. He liked having time to think through responses and the fact that no one could see him.

I had spent the afternoon touching up some drawings, both digital and paper and pencil. I had scanned the drawings onto my computer and was debating how many and which drawings I should post onto my drawing blog. I was working on characters I’d use for a comic I was working on. I also just draw for fun and because I’m perpetually bored in school. I decide to post three drawings. One full color I had done with my drawing tablet; it was a boy standing at the edge of a cliff, just peaking over the edge, but there was a figure behind him with arms outstretched to push him. Most of my art is dark. I’ll also post a sketch I had down during class of two hands, not quite touching. Then there was my more or less completed character for the comic.

I post the character first, tagging it appropriately for my comic idea. I have my blog set up so it would show up if you went to the page under my navigation titled ‘comic,’ along with all of my other sketches and plans for it.

 I queue the other two drawings to post later in the night, or morning. I tag them so they’d show up under my drawing tag. Then I change my icon to the drawing of the boy and the cliff. I go to my blog and checked out the traffic to my blog. Just in the last 24 hours, over 20 people had visited it. I probably have a few messages in my inbox. I guess you could say I’m a bit popular on tumblr. No, I should never be described as popular.

I check my messages and reading things like “you’re such a great artist,” “I wish I could draw like you,” and “I like your drawing of the snake, but why isn’t all of it in color?” Along with the anonymous hate messages that I’ll respond to sarcastically in a moment. I reply to the first message by typing out a quick, “Thanks, I try.” Then to the second message, “Thanks. Just do what makes you happy. Not everyone’s good at the same things.” The last one infuriated him, despite the compliment. I don’t like explaining my artwork because it ruins the point of art that was to make your own meaning for things. I respond halfway decently though, “Thanks. It’s art. Figure it out yourself.”

Before responding to my lovely hate mail, I scroll through my dash for a bit. I’m mostly following music and art blogs, because that’s what I’m the most interested in. Nothing catches my attention, until I see a video posted by one of the music blogs I follow (okay, also because the guy is cute, but mostly for music). I read his description before clicking on it. It’s a demo for an original song titled “I’m Not Okay (I Promise).” The title intrigues me (okay also maybe seeing his face, hearing his voice, and watching him play). I click on it and watch him with my full attention. God, he’s good (and hot). He sings and plays really passionately and I love the song. I observe every detail of him. He wears black skinny jeans and a Blink 182 shirt, red converse, and black skeleton gloves that don’t reach to the middle knuckle of his fingers. He ends up playing with his eyes closed and mouth open a lot of the time. His hair falls over his face, as he’s headbanging quite a bit.

The song itself is great and relatable, but his delivery makes it better. I find myself watching it again, twice. By the end, I’m mouthing the words as he sings; I just really want to listen to him.