Shape of You

Chapter 22

Sans' POV

After Frisk calmed down, she eventually fell asleep on top of me. I lied back on the sofa, stared at the ceiling, while still a bit mesmerized from the events that led up to this. It took me nearly an hour to pacify her constant parade of sobs and cries. With every time she hiccuped, I massaged her back. After each time she would say "I'm sorry", I kissed her forehead and wiped her tears from falling down her face. Soon after, her snoring imminently proved her emotional exhaustion.

The way she constantly apologized to me... and to Pap... She had more than just a chip on her shoulder.

Her heart had glowed sporadically and her emotions enveloped me. Before Frisk lost her memories, how long had she carried this burden with her?

Frisk was always like this when she was stuck in between a rock and a hard place. She use to come to me for everything. You name it: help with homework and tests, trouble with bullies, her first boyfriend, her first break-up, advice about random things, or just to hang out. I guess that's how I became so attached to her; I was her best friend. 

And just like that, my lingering past thoughts would throw me into my memories.

How many years had it been again? I didn't pay attention to really count the days.

For years I never realized how much I needed Frisk. Up until I realized how much I actually loved her. Why only when my life was plunging down faster than the speed of light, did it take my mind so long to firmly grasp that?

No, I have always known I loved her. It never took enough courage for me to admit that to myself. 

How many times had it been, where she would come to me over some boy she had a crush on, and I would only feel immensely irritated? How many times have I looked at her and the world just seemed to stop and stare when she smiled?

My damn pride got in the way so many times...

Fear pushed my feelings deep inside, very far from my reach.

That night when I found Frisk sobbing next to my brother's pile of dust, I knew my life would change drastically. I nearly couldn't cope with it. Papyrus was gone... and life itself put me in that situation where I couldn't live with myself. 

The only reason why I even attempted to keep myself together, was due to the fact Frisk was still there to comfort me. She never left my side since Pap passed away and she was my blessing in disguise. 

But one day, Frisk just up and dematerialized. She literally vanished right in front of me, with tears down her face and the broken reset button on the floor. 

"I'm sorry... I tried--"  Was the last words she said before her existence faded into nothingness.

After that experience, I think I lost my mind at that very moment. 

One minute I was at home breaking everything in sight and the next minute I was out for blood against the ones who slayed my brother. I honestly didn't remember much in between, but I do remember opening my eyes, only to see human bodies staked with bones, like how Vlad the Impaler killed his victims.

With the blood of my brother's murders splattered all over me, I felt sick to my stomach.
Though I was never this reckless, I had never felt so fulfilled in revenge before. For some reason, I decided to laugh like a maniac. 

When the cops came into the picture, I killed a few of them too. It had to take special forces to bring me down and cuff me like the animal I became. 

Prison changed me, and not for the better. My mental health was already bad at this point, but with the guards constantly thrashing me while having me stringed to the wall, things did not get any better.