Fire and Brimstone and Cookies [The Misadventures of Theodosius - Book II]

Chapter VIII

THEO WAS PREPARED TO HAIL A HORSELESS CABBAGE to carry them through the next leg of their journey but, to his surprise, Bihatra stepped out of Discount Soopers and strode off down the sidewalk with purpose. Carrying their purchases in the thin, crinkly bags the shopkeeper had given them, Theo trotted to keep up. "Where are we going?"

"You are conspicuous simply existing, and I don't want to draw any unnecessary attention while we're on a mission from Below. That means we need to stop you smelling like a pile of warmed-over garbage, which in turn means that you need to bathe."

Theo was taken aback by this unwelcome honesty, but there was no time for him to stand in horrified offense. Having led Theo partway down the street past a few storefronts, Bihatra turned to cut across the lawn of a much larger establishment, this one set a distance back from the road. It was a building of many stories set in the center of a paved expanse, surrounded by a strip of grass and ornamental bushes. She was walking at a fast clip despite the short legs of the diminutive form she had taken, and he was hard-pressed to keep up.

There was a large sign in front bordered with blinking lights, but Theo couldn't read it. "This is a—um—bath house?"

"Something like that. You ask too many questions." Bihatra shouldered her way in through the glass doors of the place, and Theo followed her into a dim lobby with a floor of burgundy tile. There was a counter along one side, behind which stood a bored-looking man wearing spectacles. He was turning the pages of a magazine.

Bihatra marched over to the counter and began piling crumpled bills on top. The man looked up in confusion, then leaned forward and looked over the counter toward where the diminutive demoness stood.

"A room, please," she said.

The man glanced at Theodosius. "Uh, your dad is gonna have to sign for the hotel room," he said.

"Sir?" Bihatra said.

Looking back down at her, the man opened his mouth, but when he caught her gaze, his face went slack and his eyes grew wide with terror.

"One room. Now." Bihatra's tone that brooked no argument.

Still expressionless, the man stepped back from the counter. He focused on some hidden task for a moment, and when he returned to Bihatra, he offered her a small white card. "106," he said.

She leaned up on tiptoes to snatch it from him, threw Theo an impatient look, and then stalked off down the hall. Theo glanced at the attendant, nonplussed. The man's gaze followed them as they headed down the hallway. He was staring at Bihatra as if she were the most terrifying creature he had ever seen, and Theo, who had known Bihatra for quite a bit longer and had much reason to fear her, empathized with him on that front.

Theo hurried after Bihatra. "What did you do to him?" he hissed.

"I showed him the fate that awaited him if he disobeyed me," she said in cheerful response.

Bihatra touched the card to a black box fastened on the outside of one of the doors lining the long, carpeted hall. There was a metallic rattle, and a tiny green light on the box winked and faded. She turned the handle and shoved her way into a darkened room where the air was cold and dry.

Theo looked around the gloomy chamber. There were two beds, some paintings hanging on the walls, and a long, low dresser upon which stood the strangest mirror he'd ever seen. There were no candles in evidence, nor a fireplace, but there was what appeared to be a lantern on a very tall stand.

Being a sorcerer of middling skill, Theo had powers which, according to a panel I queried for adjectives to describe them, were "super dope." He strode toward the lamp, raising a hand and summoning a flame in the palm of his hand.